Boner Candidate #1: AT LEAST HE PICKED THE $140 OPTION
Jed York, the owner of the San Francisco 49ers, was arrested for trying to pay for sex at a trailer park in Ohio. York had responded to an advertisement from a prostitution website and arranged to have sex for just $140. York’s family is worth over $8.5 billion. When York was on his way to meet the sex worker, he was taken into custody by a Human trafficking Task Force agent, who had orchestrated the sting operation. York was booked into county jail on two separate charges; engaging in prostitution and possessing criminal tools. York cut a plea deal with prosecutors and was only sentenced to one day in jail. York only became the team’s principal owner in 2024, when he had bought enough of the team’s shares from his own mom.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #2: YOU SHOULD HEAR WHAT I WANTED TO CALL THIS BONER CANDIDATE
In 2022, Utah enacted a ban on transgender girls participating in high school sports. Now Utah representatives, Sen. Mike Lee and Rep. Burgess Owens, are voicing “concern” over the WNBA. The conversation about trans women in the WNBA has been bolstered by Indiana Fever guard, Sophie Cunningham. Cunningham says she wants to “protect young girls in a locker room, or young girls in sport who shouldn’t have to go against biological men.” Enes Kanter Freedom, a former NBA player, was kicked out of a WNBA game recently for wearing a shirt that read “WOMAN: noun. Adult human female” and for starting a verbal confrontation with Natasha Cloud. Mike Lee took to ‘X’, writing “Wearing this shirt isn’t ‘harassing’ anyone.” Enes Kanter Freedom along with fellow former NBA player, Royce White, said earlier this month that they identify as women and declared themselves eligible for the WNBA draft. Freedom hasn’t played in the NBA since he was waived in 2022. The league’s current bargaining agreement states that “only players who are women are eligible to play in the WNBA,” and doesn’t further define what a woman is. Stephanie White, the coach of the Indiana Fever, was asked her stance on transgender women competing in the league. White questioned whether she’s “educated enough from a scientific standpoint” to make that call, adding that she doesn’t “believe exclusion is the answer.” Mike Lee is now calling for her to be fired over this. Despite all of this “activism,” there has never been an actual transgender person that has played for the WNBA or the NBA. Regardless, Lee and Owens have been saying the league is “WOKE” and are calling for a boycott. “As much as we love the sport, let’s prove to this Marxist Woke league that we love our American culture more,” wrote Owens.
Boner Candidate #3: THERE’S NO ALCOHOL IN MY ALCOHOL!
A man in England called Britain’s emergency services to complain after discovering that he accidentally purchased alcohol-free gin. In the call, the man explained that he had purchased miniature Gordon’s gin and tonics from a local Tesco before heading to a nearby park. “I’m going over to the park, because it’s nice and cool, and I’m sitting in shade and I look at it, it’s zero alcohol,” he told the operator. “And it’s in the alcohol section, so they all look the same.” He said he had returned to the store in hopes of exchanging the remaining drinks but was refused because he had already consumed one. The purchase had cost him roughly $8 and he wasn’t happy about being left with alcohol-free drinks. The call handler quickly informed the frustrated shopper that his disappointing drink wasn’t a police matter. “I’m really angry, so I’ll get arrested… because I’m not having it,” the caller said. The man said he might take an alcoholic drink from the store without paying for it. The operator advised him against doing so. The department has since reminded the public that every unnecessary call can take an operator away from someone facing a genuine emergency.
