Boner Candidate #1: PAULY, HE’S GONE. JUST LEAVE RICHARD ALONE.
Pauly Shore is still attempting to fund the Richard Simmons biopic although he has passed away. Shore told Entertainment Tonight, “I know he wanted me to do it. I don’t even know if that was him tweeting the whole time, to be quite honest. I don’t know who that was.” Richard Simmons brother Lenny, “Dicky absolutely wrote his own posts. He worked on them a week in advance, going over and over them to get the right message. He would often read them to Cathy and I beforehand.” In January when the 1 minute short went public, Pauly Shore stated, “I am him. I like helping people. I like health. I like putting that energy out there…And I’ve been going to the gym since I was a kid. And I think I’m a little over the top as well, so I feel like I connect with him.”
Boner Candidate #2: I DUNNO, SOUNDS TO ME LIKE HE HAD IT COMMIN’
A man is charged with one count of attempted felony murder after attempting to kill his cousin because of a parking dispute at the home that they share. Things started escalating when the victim told the suspect he doesn’t know why he is “acting so tough when your wife runs this house.” The suspect then pointed a gun at the victims neck and stated, “Do you want to see the type of man I am?” The suspect then fired the gun and grazed the wrist of the victim as well as shot his thighs 3 times. “Look at what you did, you’re going to kill me,” the victim said, according to the arrest report. “I’m going to kill you,” the suspect responded.
WINNER!
Boner Candidate #3: HE DID JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING WRONG YOU CAN DO WRONG.
Federal charges have been given to an unruly passenger with allegations on a broad spectrum. The US Attorneys wrote, “Gapco failed to follow instructions to remain in his seat, propositioned a flight attendant for sex, was repeatedly loud, vaped, bothered other passengers, locked himself in the lavatory, and attempted to open the aircraft exterior doors multiple times while the aircraft was in flight.” His behavior did not end when the flight landed. Salt Lake City Police claim he was screaming, banging his handcuffs against the window of the airport holding cell, which cracked the glass.
