Boner Candidate #1: INSURANCE WILL NOT COVER THE JESUS
Last month at the Leavitt’s Mortuary & Aultorest Memorial Park, a statue of Jesus Christ was defaced with spray paint. The incident was upsetting to many, as the statue was a symbol of peace in the cemetery. “Just a tranquil, spiritual message of Christ, one of openness, one of coming together, one of serenity when you look at the photos, when you stand near it,” said Matthew Schiffgen, the EGMM TRUST attorney. Unfortunately, the insurance on the statue won’t cover the damage the spray paint caused because the statue was being used for public display. The Ogden Police Department is asking the public for any information they may have, and the cemetery is starting a GoFundMe campaign to raise the money for the $40,000 restoration of the statue.
via Fox 13
!!WINNER!!
Boner Candidate #2: DANNY WAS A BAD BOY SO THEY SPANKED HIM GOOD
Utah Senator Daniel Thatcher recently lost his leadership position that he’d been in for six years after Senate President Stuart Adams made some changes. Thatcher is no longer a part of the Law Enforcement and Criminal Justice Committee and Senate Judiciary, and is to be moved in an office away from the other Republicans in office. “I cannot speak as to why the [Senate] president makes the decisions that he does. It was not my decision, and I asked him not to do it. I believe there will be a lot of bills coming up that deal with elections and initiatives and referenda, and I think I probably have the most experience and expertise in the Senate dealing with those subjects,” said Thatcher in a statement.
Boner Candidate #3: ENGAGING WITH A SUSPECT WHO IS NAKED AND COMBATIVE INTRODUCES UNIQUE COMPLICATIONS.
A Florida man named Joe Urias was detained and arrested by police after being found naked in a classroom. Urias had triggered an alarm in the school and when police went to investigate, they found Urias naked in one of the classrooms, along with a makeshift bed, sex toys, a laptop, food, women’s underwear, and marijuana. Urias tried to run away and assaulted a police officer in the process, but was at one point arrested. “There were no children present. There was nobody inside the school at the time. He was by himself. You know, as to the vulgarity, I think I just don’t even want to get into his mind and think about what he was thinking,” said Port St. Lucie Police Chief Leo Niemczyk. Officers were suspicious of Urias’s intentions of being in the school, especially with what he was found with. “He said that he was homeless and what he has been doing is teaching at his school and then hanging out at a Starbucks and then sleeping in the public wherever he can. He knew this week that schools were out, so he was going to break into the school and stay there for the week,” said Deputy Holbert. Urias had been teaching at another school for a time, but after being informed of this incident, he was fired.
via Daily Mail
