Round 1
Candidate #1: I’M CURIOUS HOW YOUR STUPID FRIENDS THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING.
A Texas teen’s pursuit to get “likes” with the ultimate selfie nearly cost him his life. Four months later, Triston Bailey says he feels lucky to be alive after he suffered traumatic injuries in November while trying to get a snap of the Dallas skyline, news station KTVT reported. Bailey, 18, said he was on the top of the Margaret McDermott Bridge with pals when he slipped. “They say we stopped on the side of the bridge to take some pictures and that I was going over the concrete barriers,” Bailey said. “They heard me scream and they thought I was joking.” The teen plummeted 50 feet, falling so hard he left an imprint in the ground, according to the news station.
Candidate #2: SHE’S BUG-EYED. SHE’S GOT THEM REALTOR EYES.
Candidate #3: SOMEONE’S BEEN WEARING MY CLOTHES, EATING MY FOOD, LETTING THEIR DOG PEE ON MY FLOOR.
A South Carolina man says he returned home to find strangers inside wearing his family’s clothes and eating their food, according to reports. “Can I help you?” the female intruder asked homeowner Kent Foster when he opened the door Wednesday to his Union residence, news station WHNS reported. When he got home from work, Foster says, his typically spotless house was ransacked, his furniture had been moved and there was dog urine on the floor.
“My mouth drops,” Foster told the news station. “She has all of [my wife’s] clothes. Bedroom shoes, shirt, what she owned.” Foster called police and they arrived to find the intruder, later identified as Savannah Rhinehart, and her two children in the residence.
[polldaddy poll=10241238]
Round 2
Candidate #1: WHEN I’M UPSET I TAKE A XANAX AND BOTTLE CAP OR A PENNY
A 54-year-old turned up to hospital complaining of bellyache – caused by him ingesting a tonne of debris. A man sought medical attention for a belly ache…which was caused by him eating a load of random objects. DOCTORS have pulled 2kg of stones, bottle caps and coins from a man’s stomach, after he went to hospital with belly pain.
Candidate #2: LISTEN LADY, SOFTBALL IS SERIOUS BUSINESS AND THAT’S WHAT YOU GET.
Candidate #3: WE’RE JUST PROUD OF OUR CHEERLEADERS
Wisconsin high school cheerleaders received awards for having the biggest breasts and butt at a banquet. A Wisconsin high school has reportedly come under fire for a cheerleading award ceremony last year that saw some of the teens win accolades such as the “Big Boobie” and “Big Booty” awards. Appalled parents contacted the American Civil Liberties Union and on Tuesday the group sent a warning to the Kenosha Unified School District that it might file a lawsuit over Tremper High School’s mock awards ceremony, The New York Times reported.
[polldaddy poll=10241240]
