Boner Candidate #1: THE PASTOR TRIED TO BAPTIZE A MAN’S HEAD IN A DEEP FRYER.
A pastor in High Point, North Carolina was charged with assault after nearly dipping a man’s head into a McDonald’s deep fryer. Afterwards he punched the victim in the head multiple times, and wouldn’t stop until other employees came in between. Dwayne’s wife worked at the McDonald’s location, and felt disrespected by the victim, which is what caused the incident. It has since been reported that Mrs. Waden was no longer with McDonalds. The fast food chain has stated, “the safety and security of our employees and customers is our top priority.”
via Boing Boing
Boner Candidate #2: “I’LL TELL YOU WHO’S RESPONSIBLE. BARBARA STREISAND AND RYAN REYNOLDS, THAT’S WHO’S RESPONSIBLE.”
Lauren Bobert is switching from the state’s 3rd Congressional District to the 4th Congressional District, and it’s all because of Ryan Reynold’s and Barbara Streisand. Lauren Bobert claimed, “We need a strong voice there, and we have to shut down the Hollywood elites who are trying to buy my current district. There has been close to $10 million poured into this district to buy the seat, and Colorado 3rd District is not for sale. It’s coming from Hollywood when you have Barbra Streisand coming in and donating to the Democrat, when you have Ryan Reynolds coming in and donating to the Democrat. It shows you that Hollywood is trying to buy their way into Congress.”
via The Hill
WINNER!
Boner Candidate #3: THE BEST WAY TO STOP INDOCTRINATION OF OUR CHILDREN BY LIBERALS IS TO GET THE KIDS DRUNK AND THEN PUNCH ‘EM.
Clarice Schillinger was a former GOP candidate for Pennsylvania lieutenant governor, and current leader of a political action committee “Back to Schools USA” which pledges to combat “liberal teachers’ unions and special interest groups that are responsible for indoctrinating our children.” Clarice has also assaulted a teenager, at a rental home in her name, during a birthday party where minors were served alcohol. She has since directed further comments to her lawyer, who has issued a statement, “Ms. Schillinger has dedicated her life to public service. Additionally, she has always been a law-abiding citizen. Ms. Schillinger looks forward to the opportunity to defend against these allegations.”
via Inquirer
