Boner Candidate #1: FLYIN’ ON THAT DADGUM PLANE DOESN’T MAKE YOU A DADGUM PEDOPHILE, DADGUM IT!
Republican congressman Tim Burchett, who had been repeatedly calling for the Trump administration to release all files on Jeffery Epstein, has now slowed his demands in worry of the ‘innocent’ people on the list. Burchett said that the flight logs from the infamous sex offenders “dadgum plane” should not identify “innocents”, and he used the ‘example’ of Donald Trump. “Just because somebody flew on a plane doesn’t mean they’re a dadgum pedophile” said Burchett. “So that’s one of the things I worry about, too, because you know, President Trump admitted that he flew on [Epstein’s] dadgum plane. And so I worry about some innocent people”. Concerning the recent upbringing of the case and files, Trump has been pushing for the issued to be forgotten, and calling his own followers “stupid” for bringing it up.
Boner Candidate #2: IT’S THEM RADICAL LEFTISTS THAT CAUSED TRUMP’S LEGS TO BE ALL SWOLE.
Senator Tommy Tuberville blames “Radical Leftists” for Trumps recent diagnosis. He claims that his recent health condition came from “fighting the radicals”. He said, “The pressure on somebody like President Trump right now, not just from outside entities … all over the world but also fighting the radicals in this country”. The condition that Trump has been diagnosed with is chronic venous insufficiency, causing blood to have trouble reaching the heart and pooling in the legs.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: I’VE TRIED TO REFRAIN FROM NOMINATING HIM FOR BONER OF THE DAY, BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH.
Trump is threatening to hold up the new stadium deal with the Washington Commanders, demanding they return to their old name. The Commanders old name, the Washington Redskins, was a derogatory and offensive towards Indigenous Americans, along with the Guardians old name. The Washing Commanders and the Cleveland Guardians changed their names in 2022, and have no desire to change their names. Trump claims the teams would be “more valuable” if they restored their previous names. Trump posted, “I may put a restriction on them that if they don’t change the name back to the original ‘Washington Redskins,’ and get rid of the ridiculous moniker, ‘Washington Commanders,’ I won’t make a deal for them to build a Stadium in Washington”, and later posted “MAKE INDIANS GREAT AGAIN (MIGA)!” at the end of a different post.
