Boner Candidate #1: PANTS AND UNDERWEAR ARE REQUIRED TO PURCHASE ALCOHOL
A 53-year-old woman was arrested in Springville, Utah, after she tried to buy alcohol without pants and led a high speed police chase. The police were called to a liquor store for Allyson Miller, who was reported as missing both pants and underwear. When officers arrived they saw Miller start her vehicle and sloppily drive out of the parking lot. At this point, the police attempted to perform a traffic stop. Miller did not yield for the police, and instead began to accelerate onto an onramp for a highway while hitting curbs. On the freeway, Miller swerved between lanes, drove on the shoulder, and reached speeds of 95 miles per hour. An officer had to use his vehicle to block her in on a exit ramp, where she continued to refuse cooperation and would not leave the car. Miller was unable to keep her balance and slurred her words to the point of being unintelligible, leading to her being taken to the hospital.
Boner Candidate #2: I SMELL A PROMOTIONAL STUNT
Tom Brady, the former NFL player, and Logan Paul, the social media influencer and WWE wrestler, have fallen into a petty feud after playing flag football together. It started when Tom joined Logan on the “IMPAULSIVE” podcast where the two bickered about how athletic they are and how much athleticism it takes to do their jobs. They later found out they were on opposing teams in the Fanatics Flag Football Classic tournament they where going to play in. The “beef” escalated on the field when Brady threw a ball at Paul. Later, Tom took the stage at Fanatics Fest where he used the opportunity to publicly slap Logan Paul. The pair have since taken their feud to social media. During the World Cup Final between Spain and Argentina, the two exchanged middle fingers from neighboring luxury suites. Some think it’s a publicity stunt to help Tom enter the world of WWE. “I need to get an invite. I’ve been waiting for [the WWE president] to come up with some storyline for me to get in the mix,” Brady admitted during Fanatics Fest. The football legend is now in talks with the WWE to take the “feud” into the ring.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: JOURNEY’S JONATHAN CAIN SHOULD SHUT UP ABOUT EVERYTHING.
The keyboardist for the rock band Journey, Jonathan Cain, is calling out celebrities who “mix politics with their platform,” especially fellow rock artist, Bruce Springsteen. Jonathan Cain is also a conservative Christian, outspoken supporter of Donald Trump, and married to Trump’s longtime spiritual advisor. He claims to view Trump as a leader who fights for religious freedom, regularly attends Trump events alongside his wife and has even performed at several Trump-related events. In an interview with YouTube channel The Complete Disaster Network, Cain declared, “Guys like Bruce Springsteen should shut up. Honestly, shut up, Bruce.” Cain argued that artists should focus on unifying audiences rather than political messages. He even called Springsteen “an annoying, bitter old man.”
