!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #1: AIRLINE PASSENGER MELT-DOWN
Drunk 32-year-old was dragged off of a Southwest Airlines plane after assaulting several passengers. The passenger grabbed a woman’s hair and yelled vulgar things to her, and continues to yell and kick even when prompted to leave the woman alone. The passenger was arrested and charged with aggravated assault.
Boner Candidate #2:RICK GRENELL IS A NORMAL GAY
Richard Grenell, the Special Presidential Envoy for Special Missions of United States, claims he is a “normal gay”. This is not the first time a conservative has used this term, with J.D. Vance on a Joe Rogan podcast, claiming Trump is “the most normal gay guy vote”. The idea of a “normal gay” in the conservatives eyes appears to be a gay man cosplaying as a straight man with no quirks. Vance is known for making degrading comments towards people that don’t fall into the straight white male category, so these comments came as surprise.
Boner Candidate #3:WHO’S JOB IS IT TO BE IN THE ROOM WHEN HE PASSES THE GOODS.
Police dashcam video showcases a man attempting to swallow $770,000 worth of Tiffany and Co. diamonds. The 32 year old Florida man had posed as a representative of an NBA player purchasing diamonds, then he ran off with 2 pairs of earrings. The local highway patrol was told to be on the lookout, and they pulled him over. Upon arrest, the man had the diamonds in his mouth, in which he promptly swallowed. He is currently being held without bail, facing robbery and grand theft charges
