Boner Candidate #1: WELCOME TO OTTOWA’S PUBIC SQUARE.
A French spelling mistake ended up with the city of Ottawa releasing posters announcing “pubic squares.” The poster was meant to explain the cities “Uncommon Spaces” initiative, which will create public squares for gatherings and events, and were released in both French and English. The public quickly noticed that the French version of the sign, which were intended to say “Placettes Publiques,” or, “public squares,” instead read, “Placettes Pubiques,” which translates to “pubic squares.” City of Ottawa officials said they were not involved in the creation of the posters and a councilor from the City of Ottawa’s French Language Services said the mistake is “unacceptable.”
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #2: KASH PATEL HAS ONE GOAL AS DIRECTOR OF THE F.B.I.; TO MAKE HIMSELF LOOK GOOD.
Kash Patel has once again disregarded legal constraints and the FBI’s disciplinary code to prematurely announce arrests in relation to an ongoing investigation. The FBI director “jumped the gun” when he posted details about five men suspected of planning a drone attack on the UFC event at the White House. The problem, according to several law enforcement officials, was that agents were still actively searching for additional suspects at the time Patel shared his post. Matt Quinn, the deputy director of the Secret Service said, “In order to maintain the integrity of the investigation and the security plan, we chose not to leak it.” FBI veterans say Patel’s reveal put the investigation at risk and could undermine the future prosecution. Patel has previously been criticized for premature announcements of arrests over the murder of conservative activist, Charlie Kirk.
Boner Candidate #3: VANILLA ICE DOES NOT LEAD AN ARTIFICIAL LIFE….MUCH.
Robert Van Winkle, known as the rapper “Vanilla Ice” recently gave a tour of his mansion where he boasted his luxury life style, as well as his supposed virtue for growing up poor. Winkle showed off such items as a gold gilded living room, a lazy river, a smart toilet, and a personal 9/11 memorial. That’s right, he owns a fire fighter pole from the station that responded to the terrorist attacks, along with a plaque commemorating those who died. “Never forget,” he said, before moving on to his red-cushioned movie theater. Winkle has told journalists he was a survivor from the streets. “I’ve faced a lot of adversity…probably more than any person to ever play a record or become a musician.” Sitting on a rococo couch next to a gold-painted cheetah, he rued the fallen state of the world, “Everything is artificial…I don’t live an artificial life.”
