Boner Candidate #1: DONALD’S ADMINISTRATION HIRES ONLY THE BEST PEOPLE
Well the Office of Personnel Mangement over looked thousands of layoffs for federal workers and others. One of th agency’s chief spokesperson has been using Instgram as a side hustle as a fashion influencer. There is more than dozen videos of her using her office as a back drop. She would promote a website where she could earn commission for the clothing sales. On the same day the government sent a wide memo pressing all federal works to identify barriers they faced in their work so they could “swiftly terminate poor preforming employees.” Pinover posted a video where she blowes a kiss to the camera, with a link to her $475 skirt she was wearing in the post. Jack Miller stated “Your number one job as a leader is to protect and support your people, So instead of fighting tooth and naill to keep your team, we’re posting fashion videos. It’s absured.” Pimover started her job in January she has numerous statements backing up Trump and his administration moves to lay off tens of thousdans of workers. On instagram is where is has about 800 follower and would post with hashtags such as “#dcstyle, #dcinfluencer.”
Boner Candidate #2: THIS IS WHAT PASSES FOR ON-LINE CONTENT?
A grocery store who turend into an online content content creator allegedly had been urnating on food prodcts for years. The 23 year old Kelli Tedford Keene, inn New Hampshire has been taken in to custody after an anonymous individual sent in a alert to authorities to disturning videos thath were posted to “an internet site.” The videos are Tedford “recording herself contaminating items in a local business with her urine.” “Upon notification by Keene Police, the Co-Op immediately removed the affected product and, in coordination with the health department, issued a recall” Police wrote. The police state that according to an investigation uncovered multiple other videos in which TedFord “contaminated items and/or surfaces with urine and surrounding commumities, appear to be recorded as early as 2021.” Tedford has been taken into custofy as of Friday and charged with criminal mischeif but has been released on personal recognizance bail. She has been scheduled to apper in court on April 7th.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: I THINK THE MAMA WOMBAT IS PISSED.
American social media infulencer is facing backlash in Australia and may be barred from visiting the country after she took a screaming baby wombat away form its mother. Sam Jones is descreibed “outdoor enthusiast and wildlife biologist” has over 92,000 followers on her now private instagram page. Jones posted a video showing herself grabbing the baby wombat, and running awya with it as the mom marsupial initally dashed away. Jones is seen in the video running away with the baby down the road sad she was laughing the baby was in distress. The man who was recording the video is saying”the mother is pissed” as the mom of the baby wombat is seen chasing after her baby also scraming and crying. Jones captioned the clip “My dream of holding a wombat has been realized! Baby and mama slowly waddled back off together into the bush.” Jones visa is now currently under review by Australian immigration officials they are determining whether she violated the law. Tony Burke said in a stament to the network “Either way, given the level of scrutiny that will happen if she ever applies for a visa again, I’ll be suprised if she even bothers, I can’t wait for Australia to see the back of this individual, I don’t expect she will return.”
