Boners

Boner of the Day for March 7th, 2019

Round 1

Candidate #1: LISTEN I DID THE RIGHT THING FOR THOSE KIDS

A bus driver has been charged with 26 counts of endangering the welfare of children and one count of DUI after leaving dozens of students stranded at a gas station, WFMZ reports. According to the news outlet, the incident happened Friday afternoon in Pennsylvania. The bus driver, identified as Lori Ann Mankos, was driving the regular bus route when she reportedly pulled into a gas station after a disturbance on the bus. WFMZ reports that Mankos parked the bus, got out and walked away. She allegedly handed her keys to a bus station employee before leaving the scene. Some of the students on the bus were allegedly joking about the Mankos’ driving and ultimately asked her to get off the bus.

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Candidate #2: NICE MOVE NEW HAMPSHIRE REPUBLICANS

New Hampshire Republicans wear pearls during a bill hearing as gun control victims testify. Photograph: Shannon Watts A group of male Republican lawmakers in New Hampshire have come under criticism for a stunt that gun control advocates say was demeaning to victims of gun violence: donning pearl necklaces to apparently mock those testifying in front of them.

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Candidate #3: HUMANITY IS DOOMED

According to Eater, the craze started with Charles Amara, a dad in Michigan. Last Tuesday he posted a short video on his Facebook page, captioning it “Attack of the cheese Episode 2” and adding, “He wasn’t happy after this one.” In it, a baby seated in a high chair and clutching a sippy cup looks increasingly nervous as a luminous yellow slice of cheese gets closer and closer, then lands squarely on his face. Remarkably, the slice — which has not been identified but resembles Kraft Singles, a processed American cheese — proves to be extremely adhesive. As the baby blinks, his facial expressions revealing what seems to be a mixture of surprise and dismay, the cheese remains firmly plastered to his face, covering his nose and right eyelid.

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Round 2

Candidate #1: COULDN’T THEY HAVE JUST RETURNED THE LEG…NO QUESTIONS ASKED?

After learning thieves broke into a Belleville family’s car and stole a 3-year-old’s prosthetic leg, the folks at Shriners Hospitals for Children wanted to step in and help. Josiah Rainey was born without a left leg and has been using a prosthetic leg since he was a year old. Between Thursday night and Friday morning, thieves broke into the family car and took cash, credit cards, and a backpack. Josiah’s prosthetic leg was inside the backpack. The prosthetic leg had a red tennis shoe and a yellow hip section decorated with Minion characters. The family had to borrow a wheelchair for Josiah while taking to social media to ask the public to keep an eye out. Darren Rottman, who heads up Shriners’ pediatric orthotics and prosthetics services, contacted Brie Rainey, Josiah’s mother, and set up an appointment Monday afternoon to get the boy fitted for an entirely new prosthesis.

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Candidate #2: YOU WANT THE BOYS MEAL THE GIRLS MEAL OR THE JANITORS MEAL?

A Columbus family is warning others after a razor tool was found in their four-year-old’s Happy Meal on Sunday. “He came running out, happy to have a toy,” said Scot Dymond. “I happened to see what it was and I grabbed it from him.” Dymond described it’s a scraper-type tool used to clean machines.
Dymond immediately contacted the manager at McDonald’s in Columbus. “I was angry. I was upset. The manager said they were sorry and they could comp us a free meal,” said Dymond. “I don’t want a meal. I want my kid to be safe and everyone else’s kids to be safe.” Dymond also contacted police.

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Candidate #3: SON, YOU’VE GOT DIRT ON YOUR FOREHEAD. WASH IT OFF.

A fourth grade student says he wasn’t allowed to wear an important religious symbol to school. Like millions of Catholics and other Christians around the world, William McLeod received an ash cross on his forehead to commemorate Ash Wednesday.
When he arrived at school, he noticed he was the only student in his class wearing the ash cross. “A lot of students asked me what it is. I said, ‘I’m Catholic. It’s the first day of Lent. It’s Ash Wednesday,’” William recounted. But moments later, William says he was confronted by his teacher. William tried to explain the symbol’s significance, but he says the teacher forced him to wash it off. “She took me aside and she said, ‘you have to take it off,’” William described. “She gave me a disinfection wipe — whatever they are called — and she made me wipe it off.”

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