Boner Candidate #1: AWW COME ON. IT WAS JUST A JOKE.
Westhill High School in Syracuse, New York lacrosse players turned themselves in for being involved in hazing a teammate. The non-juvenile students will be arraigned, all well the juveniles will go “straight to family court.” All 11 of the students are facing misdemeanor charges of unlawful imprisonment. The Westhill student athletes are not being named due to their age are being accused of victimizing five younger players in an incident that goes “way beyond hazing.” The police released a statement “Turn yourself in to the sheriff’s department within 48 hours, and you can face less serious misdemeanor charge of unlawful imprisonment.” What happened is the students asked the younger teammates to go to McDonald’s after their lacrosse game. The driver claimed he was lost that’s when “accomplices jumped out of the woods, pretending to be kidnappers.” Dressed in all black with what appeared to look like a handgun and a knife. They put pillowcases over the students head and tied him up than threw him in the trunk before ditching him in wooded area.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #2: AND WHEN I SAY ‘ALL THE SCIENCE ON FLUORIDE’ I MEAN ONE FLAWED AND LARGELY DISCREDITED STUDY.
Health Secretary, Robert F. Kennedy is in the pursuit of a rigorous, high quality study regarding the effect of fluoride in our drinking water. Instead he is looking into a highly flawed study, RFK told the president at a cabinet meeting during Wednesday “all the science on fluoride agrees that the more you get, the stupider you are.” He mentioned this finding as a attempt to change federal guidelines on fluoridation of drinking water. The study RFK is using claims that fluoride in drinking water have suggested there may be inverse association between fluoride exposure and children’s IQ scores. Though the federal government leaves the choice of fluoridation up to the state and local governments. Utah being the first state to band fluoride in public drinking water in March, Florida is poised to follow suit. The American Dental Association strongly supports water fluoridation. Evidence shows the mineral is strongly correlated with decreased dental diseases.
Boner Candidate #3: EVEN MY HAT HAS A HAT
Elon Musk doubled the hat in a cabinet meeting Wednesday. The DOGE chief turned heads when he showed up wearing two MAGA hats. Trump told Musk “Elon, I love that double hat, he’s the only one that can get away with it.” Musk replied with “Well, Mr. President, you know they say I wear a lot of hats!” As he wore a red “Gulf of America” hat on top of a black DOGE hat. Though Musk has rarely been working from the White House but he showed up for the 2 hour meeting. “The American people voted for secure borders, safe cities and sensible spending. And that’s what they’ve gotten. A tremendous amount has been accomplished within the first 100 days.” Musk stated. Even though Musk said that DOGE has currently spent $160 billion in annual spending after setting a $1 trillion goal. Trump commented “They say, ‘Oh it could have been more, a lot of stuff is being worked on. That number could be doubled and even tripled. A lot of things are being worked on that don’t count yet because it’s not quite there.” Though Musk official role will end on May 30, after which he will be informal adviser. “He will be stepping back a little, but he’s certainly not abandoning it. And his people are definitely not.”
