!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #1: “Yep. We’re all going to die”
The Trump administration has canceled $766 million awarded to drugmaker Moderna Inc. who is developing a vaccine against the pandemic influenza viruses, including the H5N1 bird flu. The company found out on Wednesday that the Health and Human Services Department had withdrawn funds that help pay for development and purchase of investigational vaccine. The technology being used allowed development and rollout to fight Covid-19, the same technology is being used for the new vaccine called mRNA-1018. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has said many times that he does not believe in vaccines, despite evidence that vaccines are safe and save millions of lives.
Boner Candidate #2: “A kidnapper made me do it!”
A woman is being accused of creating a fake kidnapping story after she was caught shoplifting from Walmart. Police responded to a call at Walmart on a report that a woman is calming she and her daughter had been kidnapped. Shawnee Lone told police that she and her 7 year old daughter were kidnapped by a white man she didn’t know while walking in Fair Haven and he was forcing her to shoplift on his behalf. She gave a detailed description of the man, claiming that he was holding her daughter in a black sedan outside if she didn’t take the items. Officers began a search for the ma and the car, when they reviewed surveillance footage and found that Lone arrived alone. Police stated “Her story changed several times until she admitted that she falsified the entire incident and became uncooperative.”
Boner Candidate #3: “I don’t have to listen to you, Miss Piggy!”
A woman is being charged with child abuse after attacking a child who called her “fat” and “Miss Piggy” on a flight home from Disney World. The relationship between the child and Kristy Crampton is not clear although they were part of a group returning home to Maryland from their Disney trip. Crampton started swinging on the child before takeoff when he told Crampton she was too fat to sit in her seat. She punched him and than hit him with a water bottle before slamming the child’s head into the airplane window. The pilot called for help and Crampton was taken into custody at the gate, she told the police the child was “very rude” and “disrespectful” during their Disney trip. After the child called her fat she took his phone and than hit him when he shoved her arm off the armrest.
