Boner Candidate #1: DIGIN’ A TUNNEL TO LOVE
32-year-old Jake Minervini-Blue has been arrested after attempting to break into the county jail using a shovel. A deputy spotted the man digging outside the facility and questioned him, initially he claimed his girlfriend was inside the jail, then changed his story saying he was planting flowers. During his processing, staff discovered he possessed a ferro rod.
Boner Candidate #2: HOW MANY MORE TIMES WILL THIS HEADLINE BE REPEATED?; “PASTORS FOR TRUMP IMPLICATED IN SEXTING SCANDAL.”
Jackson Lahmeyer has dropped out of the House race in Oklahoma’s 1st Congressional District just one day after advancing to a runoff in the Republican primary thanks to a texting scandal. Earlier this week The Daily Mail published what was said were text messages between Lahmeyer and a former Miss Oklahoma, calling her “very cute” and sent her a selfie while at a Trump event. In a post on social media he wrote “After prayerful consideration with my wife, Kendra, and my team over the last twenty four hours, I’ve made the difficult decision to suspend my campaign for Congress,” “I do not want to be a distraction to my family, my church, and the great people of Oklahoma’s 1st Congressional District, who deserve a strong conservative voice representing them in Washington.”
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: HERE’S AN IDEA; TELL THE ‘CONFIDENTIAL ADMINISTRATIVE ASSOCIATE THAT HE’S FIRED.
After getting so much backlash over the Utah County Clerk’s Office hiring 23-year-old conservative influencer Kai Schwemmer as the Chief Deputy Clerk, Aaron Davidson, the County Clerk has posted a job description with a revised title and role for this appointment. “He said because government works so slowly, he needed someone to help address the first-time voter issues immediately, so he chose to appoint Schwemmer to the role that was available to get him on board faster.” According to KSL’s article. But the backlash comes as people talk about Schwemmer’s lack of experience in elections administration, combined with a history of controversial public comments, which made him unfit for a role that typically oversees elections. Schwemmer has described himself as “anti-universal suffrage,” is in favor of a household voting system and has said “women generally do not have what it takes to endure the pressures of a public office.”
