Boner Candidate #1: I NEEDED TO MAKE MY MARK.
Spanish authorities are searching for an Italian man who filmed himself carving his initials into an ancient rock on the Canary Islands. The man is an influencer who posted the video to his social media which sparked outrage as the rocks he carved into are between 215,000 and 342,000 years old.
Boner Candidate #2: I JUST GOTTA DANCE NOW.
Last Thursday, a 25-year-old Houston man died after he was seen dancing on top of a semi-truck when he was knocked off by an oncoming bridge. The driver of the semi-truck had no idea the man was there as he was driving along the freeway and has been released without charges. It is unclear why the man did this and an investigation is pending.
Boner Candidate #3: HIS MOTHER RECEIVED MORE VOTES AND HE WAS DISTRAUGHT.
A South Dakota man, Bud Marty May, who recently ran for a seat in the House is now facing a charge of second-degree rape after the victim reported what happened. May appeared in court days after finding out he lost the election to his mother.
