Boner Candidate #1: HOW MUCH FOR THE LITTLE GIRL?
A 73-year-old Mississippi man, Howell Gene Penton, was arrested and charged with the sale of minor children following an attempt to buy a 10-month-old baby girl at an auction house in Angie, Louisiana. The Washington Parish Sheriff’s Office launched an investigation on November 26 after discovering Penton had allegedly solicited a woman at the Angie Auction House to purchase her infant daughter. Authorities conducted an undercover operation that led to his arrest on November 29, and Penton currently remains in custody on a $200,000 bond as the investigation is ongoing.
Boner Candidate #2: I’M GUESSING THAT U of A WOULD LIKE TO BE RID OF THE STUDENTS WHO READ THAT MAGAZINE
The University of Alabama suspended two student magazines, Alice and Nineteen Fifty-Six , citing a need to comply with an anti-diversity, equity, and inclusion memo from the Attorney General, though the publications were open to all students. This decision has sparked criticism and outrage on campus, with organizations like the Leftist Collective at UA organizing petitions and other student groups speaking out against the move. Critics argue the suspension is baseless, that the university underestimated the magazines’ value, and that this move is part of a larger trend of removing spaces for marginalized groups following the passage of an Alabama anti-DEI bill. Despite the university’s offer to develop a new, general publication, students are pushing for the reinstatement of the established, community-focused magazines.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: MORONS DESTROYING HISTORY
A thousand-year-old Fremont Era Native American pictograph in American Fork Canyon, respected for generations, was severely damaged by vandals this summer using materials like paint pens and lipstick. State officials, shocked by the disregard shown for the significant historical site, have enlisted Claire Dean, a world-leading conservator, to assess the extensive damage and develop a complex mitigation plan. The conservator noted the cleanup will be challenging and lengthy, warning that complete removal of the vandalism may not be possible, leaving behind permanent stains. Officials hope the restoration can bring the site close to its original appearance while also serving to educate the public on the unacceptable nature of damaging cultural resources.
