Boner Candidate #1: SEN. SUSAN COLLINS HAS SCORED A VICTORY BY SECURING THE SUPPLY OF ROAD SALT FOR MAINE.
In a debate with her Democrat competition, Susan Collins, Maine’s Republican senator, tried to use the fact that she got tariffs removed for “concrete, pulp, and road salt” as an accomplishment. An article from The New Republic reported that Collins’ competition, Democrat Troy Jackson, scoffed at her consideration of that as a victory and said, “I didn’t mock the fact that she got road salt back, I mocked the fact that, what about everything else? We can’t eat road salt. And the thing about it is, is that everything that she’s doing with Iran war, stuff like that, there’s going to be so many less people that’ll be able to afford to drive that I’m not even sure the road salt is going to be worth anything, either.”
Boner Candidate #2: SHE SAID, “I WAS BORED AND I HATE KIDS.”
Amy Jones, a 23 year old woman in Wisconsin, was arrested after posing as a substitute teacher at the high school she graduated from. According to an article on Independent, Jones was “using profane language, racial slurs, sexually derogatory statements and organizing students by race and gender in class.” Jones told the police that her motives for her actions were in part due to boredom and her hatred of kids. During her time posing as the substitute she reportedly “called one student “fat boy,” asked another student “if she wanted to be a stripper or a hooker,” and allegedly told two white students that “they were the type of people to start school shootings.”” Jones allegedly suffers from bipolar disorder.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: SO, IT’S OKAY TO CONSIDER RACE, RELIGION, SEX AND NATIONAL ORIGIN IF YOU’RE DENYING SOMEONE A LOAN
The Department of Housing and Urban Development sent a letter to Wells Fargo accusing the bank of discrimination for “repeated public promotion of explicit race-based policies.” According to The New York Times, the letter indicated that Wells Fargo “was being investigated for violations of the Fair Housing Act, a civil rights-era law that barred banks and other lenders from considering race, religion, sex and national origin, among other factors, in their underwriting.” This isn’t the first time that Trump’s administration has targeted what it calls “reverse discrimination,” situations that they deem make things unfair for non-minority groups.
