Boner Candidate #1: HE’S AN ITALIAN MICKEY MOUSE AND HE’S GOT A KNIFE.
A Mickey Mouse impersonator is being hunted down by the police after a report of them threating tourists with a knife. Tourists have taken it into there own hands by warning others about the character in Naples, Italy. Pictures and videos with the person behind the mask are not what it seems at all. Tourists unwilling to pay for the photos to be taken have reported being threatened with a knife being pulled out by the Mickey Mouse impersonator. A tik tok user had posted a picture with her young daughter and worte the caption with “I was super excited and had my daughter take a picture with Mickey Mouse. Only now have I discovered that he goes around with a knife and take its out on anyone who doesn’t give him money. Thank god we escaped.”A Local Mp, Francesco Emilio Borrelli said “the crook, who is disguised as Mickey Mouse, reportedly threatens and extorts money from tourists and citizens who take pictures with him.” He added “We cannot allow people like this to act undisturbed in the tourist areas of the city, damaging the image of the Naples and creating a climate of fear between citizens and visitors. I want an investigation to get to the facts and if the allegations are confirmed he will be caught and dealt with.”
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #2: YOU CAN VANDALIZE THE CAPITOL BUILDING IN D.C. BUT VANDALIZING ELON’S TESLAS IS A STEP TOO FAR.
Fox News reporters have proposed the idea of the death penalty for Tesla protestors. Even though they are in full support of pardoning the violent rioters who vandalized the Capitol building along with attacking police officers. Fox host Harris Faulkner told the White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, “I know on January 20th that the president signed into law, through an executive order, restoring the death penalty.” They even labled the Tesla vandalizers “domestic terrorists.” Leavitt replyed with “Yes, and what I can tell you is the President Trump condemns this violence, and he is determined to restore law and order in our country. And he will ensure that the harshest penalties are pursued for those who are engaging in this vicious violence that we have seen targeted at this American company.” All throught the video they make it seem that the protesters are “domestic terrorists” even though no one has been seriously injured in any of the protest.
Boner Candidate #3: SO WHO HAS TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROM?
Minnesota state senator Justin Eichorn has been caught after allegedly trying to hire a teenager for sex. Monday Morning Eichorn spent his morning saying that legislation to officially classify “Trump Derangement Syndrome” as mental illness. Than the same day the married fauther of four went home and started texting what he thought was a 17 year old prostitute. Bloomington police caught the 40 year old outside of his vehicle near Normandale Boulevard. The Senate Republican stated “We are shocked by these reports, he felony allegation against senator Eichorn is deeply disturbing.” The same party that is “protecting” our children from books and drag queens are the same people with child molestors running our country.
