Boner Candidate #1: YOU THINK I SHOULD GET A FASTER CAR?
A driver in Florida crashed his Lexus after taking police on a high-speed chase. Florida Highway Patrol had spotted the speeder traveling at over 100 mph and weaving through traffic aggressively past 10 p.m. when they attempted a traffic stop. The driver accelerated and exceeded 130 mph while leading the troopers, all without headlights. The chase came to an end when the reckless driver lost control of his car and rolled into the trees off the side of the road. The culprit was promptly arrested, but had no remorse, reportedly joking about upgrading to a faster car for his next attempt. He was later released from jail.
Boner Candidate #2: HIS MAJESTY WOULD LIKE TO REMIND HIS SUBJECT THAT IT’S HIS MOTHER WHO IS DEAD
Radio Caroline, a radio station in Essex, England, mistakenly announced the death of King Charles while he was on vacation, alive. The radio station was playing its usual programming and music when it came to an abrupt stop. A mans voice was then heard saying “This is Radio Caroline. We have suspended our normal programs until further notice as a mark of formal respect following the passing of His Majesty King Charles III…His Majesty King Charles III has passed away.” They then broadcasted the British national anthem. Radio Caroline has since made statements regarding the incident claiming that a “computer error” accidentally activated the announcement that the king had passed. “We apologize to the King and to our listeners for any distress caused,” said the station manager. The incident came as King Charles happily toured Northern Ireland with his wife, Queen Camilla.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: WELL THAT’S NO WAY TO TREAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND
Kaylie Santos, a former employee of McDonalds in Southbridge, Massachusetts, has been charged and is scheduled to be arrested for spitting on french fries before serving them to her ex-girlfriend. The investigation began after an officer had been alerted of a Facebook video, showing Santos shoving fries in her mouth and then placing them in a carton to serve. After reviewing surveillance footage from the establishment, police could confirm that she had spit into the fry carton, placed fries into her mouth and then the carton, and served them at the drive-thru window. Police found the owner of the vehicle from the footage and identified her as Haily Coburn, who had broke up with Santos in 2024. Coburn was able to affirm that she was served the fries, and had eaten then, unaware of the contamination.
