Boner Candidate #1: A BONER TWO-FUR; THE SIGN CREATOR AND THE SIGN DESTROYER.
A chiropractic office in Florida, Palm Harbor Clinic, is known in its community for rotating messages like “We never crack under pressure” and “Our Easter adjustments are eggsellent” on their roadside sign to amuse passing drivers. Recently, the sign read “Licensed Crack Dealer” as a pun on spinal adjustments. One Benjamin Fragale, saw this sign, and thought he must take action. The man was arrested after using bricks to “smash the sign, damaging the letters, message board, and interior lights,” causing over $1,000 in damages. When police had arrived at the scene, Fragale frantically informed the cops that the sign read “Licensed Crack Dealer” and that he thought that was illegal.
Boner Candidate #2: WHO I’M GUESSING WAS ALSO DRUNK
A man was arrested in Montgomery, New York for drunk driving on his way to collect a friend who had also been arrested for drunk driving. Antone Gilonna was on his way to retrieve his friend from the county sheriff’s office when he had mistakenly driven into the restricted section of the offices parking lot, reserved for police. A deputy noticed the man was lost, and approached him. The officer had immediately recognized the signs of intoxication upon interacting with him. After administering a field sobriety test, which Gilonna failed, the deputy arrested him for driving under the influence. Records revealed that Gilonna had previously had his New York Drivers License revoked for an earlier DWI.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT HOW HE DID IT WHEN THEY SHOULD BE TAKING ABOUT WHY
Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the U.S. Secretary of Health, has offered Americans a multitude of warnings about things they should avoid in the name of self-preservation, but handling snakes does not appear to be one of them. While visiting Palm Beach, Florida, RFK Jr. posted a video showing himself wrangle two black racer snakes, who were actively in the throws of passion, by the tail. The video has since gone viral on X. “I don’t know that I’d say it’s the best snake wrangling I have ever seen, but it is far from the worst,” commented a professional snake handler. This is one of many concerning encounters RFK Jr. has had with animals as of late, including cutting off the head of a whale carcass and taking it home, dumping a dead bear in Central Park, and training Ravens in his seemingly endless spare time.
