Boners

Boner (Round One and Two) for September 27th, 2018

Round One: 

Boner Candidate #1: THIS IS NOT THE “DIVORCED MOM WITH KIDS” PAGEANT.

Veronika Didusenko, who was recently named Miss Ukraine at the country’s national beauty pageant, was stripped of her title after pageant officials learned that she lied about being a divorced mother in her application. Didusenko was crowned the winner of the Miss Ukraine pageant in the country’s capital of Kiev on September 20. But her reign as queen didn’t last long after the pageant committee decided that she was to be disqualified on Monday. The Miss Ukraine organization released a statement regarding the 23-year-old’s disqualification which said, “In accordance with the Rules for conducting the National Beauty Contest Miss Ukraine, a person who wishes to take part in the National Beauty Contest ‘Miss Ukraine’ must comply, among other things, with the following requirements (valid for the period of the Contest): – not / was not married; – has no children.”

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Boner Candidate #2: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S NOT A CREDIBLE SOURCE?

 School officials say a student reported a potential school shooting threat based on a prediction made by a Ouija board. According to the Altoona Area School District, a student reported the threat to Altoona Area High School administrators last week, claiming that a shooting would take place on Sept. 26. AASD Police Services Department and the AAHS administration conducted a full investigation, including interviews with students and parents. The district later learned that the reported threat came from students playing with a Ouija board over the summer.

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Boner Candidate #3: HEY KIDS, IT’S GENDER WARS WEEK.

A concerned father in Louisiana is speaking out about the “inappropriate” spirit week themes at his daughter’s middle school in the hopes of raising awareness regarding the style guidelines for young students. Late last week, M.J. Mouton shared an image of the “dress day guidelines” for the weeklong homecoming festivities at his 12-year-old daughter’s middle school in the town of Iowa, which included suggestions for “Stoplight Day,” during which kids were encouraged to wear stoplight-inspired colors to signify their relationship status, as well as “Boys vs. Girls Gender War” day, which encouraged children to wear pink or blue. “Monday is … Wear Red if you are taken. Wear Green if you are single. Wear Yellow if it is complicated,” Mouton wrote on Twitter, in a post that has since been liked over 147,000 times, shared 19,000 times and sparked over 4,000 comments. “She is in middle school. Totally inappropriate. Welcome to Louisiana.”

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Round Two: 

Boner Candidate #1:WE HAVE ANTI NUISANCE LAWS THAT COVER THIS.

 Osaka police have arrested a 22-year-old Wakayama prefectural police officer on suspicion of assaulting a passerby who caught him filming up a woman’s skirt. According to police, the incident occurred at around 5:45 p.m. on Sept 9 in Osaka City’s Chuo Ward. The suspect, Manato Naruse, who works and lives in Wakayama City, was warned by a 29-year-old male passerby, who noticed him using his smartphone to film up the woman’s skirt on the stairs at Nipponbashi subway station. The man called out to Naruse who then tried to get away. As Naruse and the man scuffled, the victim fell to the ground and injured his right elbow. Police said Naruse has admitted to the charge, and quoted him as saying, “I was caught filming secretly and just wanted to get away.”

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Boner Candidate #2: NOW HONEY, AS YOU GROW UP REMEMBER THIS, GROPING IS NO BIG DEAL

As Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh deals with a growing number of sexual misconduct allegations, some parents are using the situation to teach valuable life lessons. Hopefully, not too many want to impart the lesson being taught by a mother in Bozeman, Montana: Groping is no big deal. The unidentified woman made a point of telling her two teen daughters this during a live interview Tuesday on MSNBC. “Groping a woman? At 18?” she said, before asking her daughters, “I mean, how many guys do you know who think that’s no big deal?” After the two girls nodded in agreement, the mother reiterated, “It’s not a big deal.” The woman insisted that even if the assault allegations against Kavanaugh are true, it “doesn’t take away from his character and his job to do what he needs to do as a Supreme Court nomination.

Boner Candidate #3: GIRLS RUIN EVERYTHING; YOU KNOW THEY DO.

Soddy-Daisy High School’s athletic director Jared Hensley was placed on leave after a video featuring comments he made went viral Wednesday. The video sparked outrage and backlash from many community members, who contacted school board members, central office and posted on social media. While addressing a dress code policy regarding athletic shorts (which students are not allowed to wear at the school), Hensley said “If you really want someone to blame, blame the girls. Because they pretty much ruin everything. They ruin the dress code, they ruin…well, ask Adam. Look at Eve. That’s really all you really gotta get to, OK. You can really go back to the beginning of time. So, it’ll be like that the rest of your life. Get used to it, keep your mouth shut, suck it up [and] follow the rules.”  The video, which has since been removed from YouTube, contains announcements and other information that is produced journalism students and broadcasted to other students at the school.

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