Boners

Boner Candidates March 8, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: DON’T THROW ROCKS AT WINDOWS ANY TIME.

Salt Lake firefighters kept a garage fire from spreading to the house. It broke out in a detached garage at 3127 south, 900 east. It was strange to see them pouring water on the flames as Mother Nature was pouring water on them. They made sure the homeowner got out safely.  And the only injury was rather bizarre. A woman not connected to the fire. Jasen Asay of the Salt Lake City Fire Department tells us, “She walked by the area of the fire.  She saw the garage was on fire.  She attempted to throw a rock to break a window.  The rock deflected back and came in contact with her head.” She was taken to the hospital with minor injuries. The cause of the blaze undetermined.  Firefighters say they don’t recommend throwing rocks at windows anytime.

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Boner Candidate #2: FROZEN OUT OF THE FUN

Two Utah women who went to see Disney’s “Frozen On Ice” say they ended up getting frozen out. Kandra Pearson and Andrea Bedke spent hundreds of dollars on tickets to see the show Thursday at Vivint Smart Home Arena in downtown Salt Lake City. But they said they didn’t even make it halfway through the performance before they were asked to leave, leaving them stunned and confused. “We came to enjoy the show, and that’s what we wanted. We just wanted a good night,” said Pearson. “They ruined our whole night.” The two best friends were dressed as Elsa and Anna, the two famous princesses at the center of the Disney hit movie. They admit their costumes attracted some attention. “We had girls all over the place,” Pearson said. They said they posed for a photo with some of the girls until a staffer said they couldn’t do that. The pair said they quickly apologized and didn’t do it the rest of the night. But at intermission, as they bought concessions, they said a representative from the production company approached them and told them to “stop acting like princesses.” Five minutes later, they said, security guards came over and asked them to leave.

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Boner Candidate #3: LETS MAKE THESE YOUNG LADIES LEGAL

Under Virginia’s current laws, children as young as 12 or 13  can be married off. But legislation moving through the Virginia General Assembly would put an end to that. Lawmakers on both sides of the aisle are pushing to protect children by raising the legal age of marriage to 16. There is no minimum age for marriage in the commonwealth. “A child who’s 13 and pregnant — it’s rarely the case that the 13-year-old is marrying a 17-year-old,” says Virginia Sen. Jill Vogel, R-Fauquier, whose bill sets 16 as the minimum age for marriage.”It’s more often the case that it is a child marrying somebody decades older than they are.” Vogel says that Senate Bill 415, which passed in the Senate last month, has passed in a House sub-committee and in a full-committee and will be on the House floor this week, possibly as early as Monday, for a vote. “We’re very, very close to getting a bill to the governor,” Vogel says. There is a companion bill in the House, House Bill 703, sponsored by Del. Jennifer McClellan, D-Richmond.

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