Boners

Boner Fight for June 1st, 2020

Boner Candidate #1:I’M NOT GOING BACK TO THE NEW NORMAL.

The show didn’t go on Saturday night, but a protest did. Unlike the demonstration against racism and police use of deadly force that turned violent in downtown Salt Lake City, however, the one in Stansbury Park against coronavirus restrictions that led to the cancellation of a country western concert remained peaceful. Eric Moutsos, the event organizer, shared news with the crowd of a flipped vehicle and rioting in Utah’s capital. “But we’re the radical group, right?” he asked the orderly crowd sarcastically. “This is how true patriots do it in America; what we’re doing right here.” About 1,000 people showed up at the historic Benson Grist Mill in Stansbury Park, even with only an hour’s notice of the venue change. The protest stemmed from a concert arranged by Utah Business Revival, featuring country star Collin Raye.

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Boner Candidate #2:YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE THROWN IT AWAY

According to various German media, emergency services in Berlin found a man several bleeding in the bushes of an allotment garden. The intoxicated victim reportedly cut off his own penis before throwing it away. The man was rushed to the hospital with severe injuries. It took the man three attempts to cut off his genitals, the Berliner Kurier reported, adding that emergency services and police did not manage to find the discarded member in the bushes. Police have launched an investigation. It cannot be ruled out that the drunk man attempted to die by suicide.

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