Boners

Boner Fight for May 7th, 2020

BONER CANDIDATE #1:I AM RAND PAUL. I AM IMMUNE!

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) decided not to wear a protective mask when he returned to the Senate for work this week, claiming that he has immunity from COVID-19 after getting infected with it in late March and recovering. “I have immunity. I’ve already had the virus, so I can’t get it again,” Paul said when asked by reporters why he wasn’t wearing a mask as suggested by federal guidelines. “And I can’t give it to anybody.”He added: “So of all the people you’ll meet here, I’m about the only safe person in Washington.” Paul was the first known senator to have contracted the virus. On March 22, his office announced that he had tested positive for COVID-19 and had placed himself in quarantine. Paul was asymptomatic and had tested “out of an abundance of caution,” his office reported at the time.

Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2:WHADDA YA MEAN NO KUNG PAO.

The Mill House Brewing Company has spent the past several weeks trying to figure out the best way to deal with… you know, all of this. The award-winning Poughkeepsie, New York pub and brewery temporarily closed at the end of March, before deciding to reopen four days a week with a 10-person crew. It set up a drive-through beer tent, it’s sold gift cards for the After Times, and it’s currently offering take-out orders and contactless delivery for food and its own brews. But because everything is extra complicated right now, it seems difficult for the restaurant to celebrate what should’ve been an incredibly successful dinner promotion. For four nights last week, Mill House offered a classic Americanized Chinese takeout meal, which included enough sesame chicken, spare ribs, beef and broccoli, vegetable egg rolls, sesame lo mein noodles, and pork fried rice to feed a family of four.

Read More

[polldaddy poll=10549053]

To Top