Boners

Boner of the Day for June 1st, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1:SO IT’S OKAY IF YOU DO IT.

White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany, who has defended President Trump’s attacks on mail-in voting, has voted by mail 11 times since 2010, the Tampa Bay Times reported Wednesday.  McEnany’s voting record reviewed by the newspaper indicated that the Florida native has voted by mail in every election she participated in since 2010. Like Trump, who is now a Florida resident, McEnany also voted by mail in the 2020 presidential primary election in March. McEnany last week defended the president casting a mail-in vote while claiming without evidence that the practice is subject to rampant fraud, saying, Trump is the commander-in-chief, “which means he’s here in Washington. He’s unable to cast his vote down in Florida, his state of residence.”

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Boner Candidate #2:BLOOD STEALIN’ MONKEYS

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, who has emerged as a national leader in the fight against the coronavirus, has thrown his weight behind businesses by issuing an executive order authorizing them to deny entry to any customers who don’t wear masks. Also on Thursday, the U.S. House held a moment of silence in honor of the more than 100,000 Americans who have died from the coronavirus so far. And while the pandemic is confusing to adults, it’s especially so for children who have suddenly lost their school, family connections and ability to play freely outside. To them, the coronavirus is like an unseen monster under the bed.

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Boner Candidate #3:I’M NOT GOING BACK TO THE NEW NORMAL.

The show didn’t go on Saturday night, but a protest did. Unlike the demonstration against racism and police use of deadly force that turned violent in downtown Salt Lake City, however, the one in Stansbury Park against coronavirus restrictions that led to the cancellation of a country western concert remained peaceful. Eric Moutsos, the event organizer, shared news with the crowd of a flipped vehicle and rioting in Utah’s capital. “But we’re the radical group, right?” he asked the orderly crowd sarcastically. “This is how true patriots do it in America; what we’re doing right here.” About 1,000 people showed up at the historic Benson Grist Mill in Stansbury Park, even with only an hour’s notice of the venue change. The protest stemmed from a concert arranged by Utah Business Revival, featuring country star Collin Raye.

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1:I AM BETTER BY MYSELF.

Sources say that in 2015, the “Transformers” actress dumped her “Beverly Hills, 90210” star husband around the time he was seriously ill with a stroke-like syndrome that left him bedridden and barely able to move — only to take him back and dump him all over again a few years later. Green became sick with a terrifying undiagnosed brain condition around December 2014, and he spent more than six months in bed. “He could barely lift his head,” said an insider. Meanwhile, Fox left Los Angeles to go to New York to shoot “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows” in the spring of 2015. Sources say that when she returned to Hollywood, she seemed suddenly very keen to end their marriage, and she filed for divorce in August. But then they reconciled. We’re told that after the trauma of both the illness and the breakup, Green worked to rebuild their marriage. Then — according to Green, who discussed the news on his podcast, “With Brian Austin Green” — she broke up with him again earlier this year after nearly 10 years of marriage.

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Boner Candidate #2:THIS WILL WORK, RIGHT?

Having pizza on board a plane is nothing but a distant dream for most of us, but one passenger who clearly prepared in advance appears to have saved a slice as a mid-journey snack. At first it seems like a genius move – until you see a picture which has been shared on social media of how he prepared his meal. Asking the crew for help to heat it up was a long shot he wasn’t willing to take, so instead he turned on the overhead light above his seat and held the slice millimetres from the bulb in the hope it would cook. The moment was captured by a fellow passenger sitting in a row behind and shared by the Passenger Shaming Instagram account with the caption: “Just warming up some leftovers.”

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Boner Candidate #3:YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE THROWN IT AWAY

According to various German media, emergency services in Berlin found a man several bleeding in the bushes of an allotment garden. The intoxicated victim reportedly cut off his own penis before throwing it away. The man was rushed to the hospital with severe injuries. It took the man three attempts to cut off his genitals, the Berliner Kurier reported, adding that emergency services and police did not manage to find the discarded member in the bushes. Police have launched an investigation. It cannot be ruled out that the drunk man attempted to die by suicide.

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