Boners

Boner of the Day for May 19th, 2020

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: I JUST LOVE EVERYBODY SO MUCH

A Florida woman who kept trying to randomly kiss strangers at a local bar repeatedly called 911 to complain about the business not practicing coronavirus social distancing guidelines, according to the Melbourne Police Department. Police said Audra Adams, 32, called 911 a total of five times from Monkey Bar and Grille in Indialantic, which is open serving both food and drinks as is allowed under phase one of reopening Florida. During the fourth time she called, officers were already at the business and on the fifth time, officers were speaking to her, records show. The owner of the bar said Adams was inside trying to kiss random customers and after multiple people complained, he asked her to leave but she initially argued and refused until she eventually made her way out the front door, according to the affidavit. When asked about why she called 911 so many times, Adams said the bar was not following health guidelines intended to stop the spread of coronavirus, records show.

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Boner Candidate #2: I HAD TO GET MY NAILS DONE.

A Baltimore woman is accused of leaving her two children in a locked car while she sat inside a county nail salon. Police charged Keontae Moodie, 22, with two counts of leaving her children unattended. Offices were forced to break the backseat window of her vehicle on Wednesday to rescue a 3-year old and a 3-month old who they suspect had been inside the locked vehicle for an hour. Officers found Moodie inside the First Class Nail Salon in Randallstown. The county has now shut down the nail salon, which police say wasn’t allowed to be open under COVID-19 restrictions.

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Boner Candidate #3: I HOPE YOU END UP IN MY HOSPITAL SOMEDAY.

A Fort Myers doctor threatened police officers in Georgia for pulling him over, according to Roswell police. Police say it happened Thursday morning when a Roswell Police Officer conducted speed enforcement on Georgia State Highway. Authorities say Doctor Robert O’Conner was going over the speed limit by 23 mph. Police say O’Conner stated he was trying to get to a “tee time” and was running late. The Roswell Officer gave O’Conner a ticket for speeding. O’conner stated, “he hopes to get to see me in his operating room so he can take great care of me,” said the Roswell Officer. The Officer noted this was made in a very sarcastic manner. Police say Dr. O’Conner proceeded to call a neighboring jurisdiction, the Sandy Springs Police Department and spoke to an officer there about the ticket.

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Round One

Boner Candidate #1:WE GOT A RIGHT!

Block parties that were held in Florida over the weekend, ended in multiple arrests and injuries to police officers. At least seven people were arrested and multiple police officers were injured at the parties that were held in the state, according to the New York Post. The parties, which in total hosted more than 3,000 people, were being held in memory of Kenya Alexander, a black man who was murdered in the state in 2008, according to the West Volusia Beacon. Footage that was released by the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office showed large gatherings at parties during the day and night. Florida governor Ron DeSantis’ order amid the coronavirus pandemic, advises against large gatherings, but does not prohibit them by law. At one of the parties, a 34-year-old man, who was drinking with his friends, was shot in the foot, which started a riot in the area. The sheriff’s department released a statement, where they said that after the shooting, the party became unmanageable, and violence was shown towards the officers.

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Boner Candidate #2:THIS WAS NO ORDINARY STICK UP

Police in the town of Louisa took to Facebook on Saturday to say the pair was wanted in connection with a larceny at a convenience store that took place while they were wearing hollowed-out watermelon rinds with holes cut out for the eyes. Hours later they said there had been one arrest in the “Melon-Heads case.” “Thank you to the community for all your assistance,” police said. The crime took place on May 6 at a Sheetz convenience store. It’s unclear what was taken or what charges had been brought against the person who had been arrested. The arrest happened days ago, according to the Charlottesville Daily Progress, which reported the police Facebook post drew comments from other people who said they had seen the duo elsewhere in town and had snapped photos, which they posted.

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Boner Candidate #3:SHOOTING YOURSELF IN THE GROIN IS ONE WAY TO END THE PARTY

Larger gatherings are still prohibited under strict coronavirus stay-at-home orders. But that didn’t stop a raging house party Saturday night in the Hollywood Hills that ended when, police say, a man accidentally shot himself in the groin. Officers received a complaint of a loud party at 1410 Miller Drive at about 11 p.m., said Los Angeles Police Lt. Mark Chong. When they responded, they found that more than 100 people were gathered at a short-term-rental property that appeared to have been reserved for the occasion, he said.

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