Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates March 10, 2016

Boner Preview Candidate #1: WHY BUY A TICKET IF THE CHILD DOESN’T NEED A SEAT?

French authorities have opened an investigation after a baby was found hidden in a bag belonging to a passenger on board an Air France plane. The French company says in a statement that the child, who traveled with “an adult” on Air France Flight 1891 from Istanbul to Paris on Monday, did not have a valid ticket. Air France says it requested “the presence of French authorities on the flight’s arrival” to deal with the matter.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: DID YOU CLOSE OFF YOUR FEMALE ORGANS?

A Spanish judge is under investigation after asking a rape victim if she tried closing her legs. According to The Clara Campoamor Association, a gender-rights group in Spain, Judge María del Carmen Molina Mansilla engaged in “offensive, degrading and humiliating” questioning of a pregnant woman, who came to a police station last month to report she had been physically and sexually abused. The judge reportedly went so far as to ask the woman, “Did you close your legs firmly? Did you close off your female organs?”

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: AT LEAST SHE DIDN’T ASK FOR HER MONEY BACK

A West Jordan mother is accused of abandoning her young son at a hospital, sending with him a note claiming he was too unruly to live with her. “This kid is rude and ungovernable!” the woman wrote in the note, according to charges filed Tuesday. “I do not want him in my house at all!” The boy walked alone into the front door of Jordan Valley Medical Center on Feb. 21 and gave the note to two receptionists, police wrote.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: IT IS RICH WITH IRONY

A high-profile pro-gun activist was shot in the back by her four-year-old son after he found her pistol lying on the back seat of her truck just 24 hours after he boasted about his shooting skills online. Jamie Gilt, 31, who posts about firearms on her social media accounts was driving through Putnam County, Jacksonville, Florida, on Tuesday in her truck when she was wounded after the toddler picked up the weapon and shot her in the back.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: YOU MAY NOT MAKE IT TO THE HOSPITAL ALIVE

Police say a city woman bought a large kitchen knife, stabbed her husband with it when he came home from work, and then stabbed him again as she drove him to the hospital Friday afternoon. Tracy L. Fleischer, 34, had an initial court hearing Monday at the Capital Judicial Center via video from the Kennebec County jail where a judge set her bail at $75,000 cash, with conditions that prohibit her from having contact with the victim and her three children, at least one of which police say saw the stabbing at the home.

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Boner Preview Candidate # TREE? TREE YOU SAY? OH, THE TREE.

The Roselle police report may not have captured all the color of the incident. It did, however, get to the heart of it. “Stopped for driving with a large tree embedded in the front grille,” the report reads. Photos taken by officers in January of the 2004 Lincoln with its arboreal accessory have gone viral since the images were posted on the Roselle Police Department’s new Facebook page last week. The tree was estimated to be about 15 feet tall.

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