ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: ANOTHER VIOLENT BABY SHOWER
Three people were shot over an argument with gifts at a baby shower.
Boner Candidate #2: JUST ANOTHER RACIST DAY AT A SCHOOL IN OREGON.
A staff member at an elementary school arrived wearing blackface in an attempt to protest the mask mandate by imitating Rosa Parks.
Boner Candidate #3: KYRA SEDGWICK’S PANTIES.
Kyra Sedgwick’s panties were posted on Instagram by her husband Kevin Bacon. The panties had “I [heart] K.B.” written in sequins
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: WE HAVE THE GREATEST HEALTH CARE SYSTEM IN THE WORLD.
After loosing her child at 25 days old, Brittany Giroux Lane received a flurry of surprise medical bills totaling $257,000.
Boner Candidate #2: THERE’S SOME ALIENS DOWN THERE IN THE PARKING LOT.
A man in Kentucky was arrested for shooting outside of a hotel window. The man claimed he was shooting at aliens in the parking lot.
Boner Candidate #3: PHILLIP!
Prince Phillip was revealed by his family to have gotten in trouble with the Queen on multiple occasions for playing a game during family engagements. There would be mustard everywhere, including the ceiling because Phillip encouraged his children to clap their hands together with mustard.