Boner Candidate #1a: DRINKING WHILE DRIVING: SOMETIMES IT WORKS OUT SOMETIMES IT DON’T
In South Korea, a court has ruled that a 60 year old man cannot be charged with drunk driving due to chugging a bottle of liquor after being pulled over, ruining any chance of an accurate test. When pulled over, the man chugged a bottle of soju, a liquor in likeness to a weaker vodka, in just 39 seconds before police could test him. Police tested the man 40 minutes after the traffic stop but the court ruled that the evidence was not strong enough to determine if he had been drunk while driving.
#1b: DRINKING WHILE DRIVING….
A female executive at an alcoholism charity was found drunk driving and hiding from police in a bush. Eliza Loftus, 26, was nearly three times over the legal limit when crashing her car into a tree and hiding in nearby bushes. She pleaded guilty in court and has been banned from driving for the next 40 months.
Boner Candidate #2: THE MINUTE I GET OUT, I’LL DO IT AGAIN
Anthony Lee Jack, prolific serial burglar who has promised to keep stealing whenever he is released from jail has been arrested yet again. He was booked into the Salt Lake County Jail for investigation of burglary, theft and drug possession. When officers found Jack, he was still wearing the shoes given to him by the Salt Lake County Jail from his last booking.
WINNER!
Boner Candidate #3: THIS STUFF IS HILARIOUS
Elon Musk joined Tucker Carlson Monday night for an interview, and laughed about “a lack of assassination attempts against Kamala Harris and Joe Biden” as he believes. Musk deleted an X post in mid-September after the second assassination attempt on Donald Trump, joking that “no one is trying to assassinate” Biden or Harris. Now he is making it clear he doesn’t regret that post saying, “Nobody has even bothered to kill Kamala because it’s pointless,” Musk said, “What do you achieve? Nothing, you just bought another puppet.”
