Boner Candidate #1: IT SEEMS THAT ATTENTION TO DETAIL IS NOT DAVID’S STRONG SUIT.
Billionaire Oracle cofounder Larry Ellison, whose six children are eager to inherit his media and technology empire, has recently been in the spotlight for both his family dynamics and a public embarrassment. While his son David Ellison moves closer to leading Paramount Skydance, Larry Ellison drew ridicule after naming his yacht “Izanami,” only to discover the name spells “I’m a Nazi” when reversed, an especially awkward coincidence given his ties to Israel. The incident prompted widespread social media reactions, with many likening it to a plotline from Succession and expressing exhaustion with the antics of the ultra-wealthy.
Boner Candidate #2: MONEY WELL SPENT IF YOU ASK ME
The Congressional Budget Office estimates that using “Department of War” as a secondary name for the Department of Defense could cost anywhere from a few million dollars to as much as $125 million, depending on how quickly and broadly the change is implemented. President Trump authorized the alternative title through an executive order, but the Defense Department has not specified how extensively it plans to apply the new name. A full statutory renaming would be far more expensive, potentially costing hundreds of millions of dollars.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: THE PERVY DEACON
A Tennessee church deacon was arrested after his wife reported discovering disturbing videos on his phone while holding it for him during a medical procedure. Christopher Thomas Collins, 42, faces nine counts of sexual exploitation of a minor related to recordings police say were made without the teen’s knowledge. Authorities seized electronic devices and allege Collins admitted to making the recordings during an interview. Following his arrest, Abba’s House church removed him from his deacon role and said it is supporting his family while the case moves forward.
