Boners

Boner Candidates January 19, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: A BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON

Scholastic is pulling a new picture book about George Washington and his slaves amid objections it sentimentalizes a brutal part of American history. “A Birthday Cake for George Washington” was released Jan. 5 and had been strongly criticized for its upbeat images and story of Washington’s cook, the slave Hercules and his daughter, Delia. Its withdrawal was announced Sunday.”While we have great respect for the integrity and scholarship of the author, illustrator and editor, we believe that, without more historical background on the evils of slavery than this book for younger children can provide, the book may give a false impression of the reality of the lives of slaves and therefore should be withdrawn,” the children’s publisher said in a statement released to the AP.

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Boner Candidate #2: THAT SAVAGE BEATING I GAVE YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN RECORDED.

A former Taco Bell executive who was arrested and fired after a viral dash-cam video showed him attacking an Uber driver is now suing that driver for $5 million — saying the driver illegally recorded the violent incident. Ousted exec Benjamin Golden, 32, also said in court papers that driver Edward Caban, is to blame for any injuries he suffered during their Oct. 30 encounter in Costa Mesa, Calif. Golden’s lawyer Courtney Pilchman told CNBCon Friday that she also has informed prosecutors she will seek to have Caban’s video of the attack barred from evidence in the criminal case against Golden on the grounds that the recording was allegedly illegally made by the driver. Pilchman said that Caban, 23, seems to be “quite the opportunist,” and that “there’s very little truth to the damages that he claims,” which include post-traumatic stress and claims that he lives in fear after his violent confrontation with Golden.”I don’t believe he has any of those,” she said.

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Boner Candidate #3: WELL SHE SHOULD BE ON THE SUPREME COURT

Nearly 10 percent of college graduates in the United States think that TV host Judith “Judge Judy” Sheindlin sits on the Supreme Court, according to a recent study. When the survey sample is expanded to the general American public, the results are even worse — with 13 percent saying Sheindlin is a member of SCOTUS. The study — commissioned by the American Council of Trustees and Alumni in late August 2015 — found college grads lacked basic knowledge on all branches of government. Based on 1,000 interviews nationwide, 47 percent of graduates couldn’t identify the term lengths for members of Congress. Nearly 40 percent didn’t know that the US Constitution gives Congress the power to declare war.

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