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Jon Smith Loves Bad Movies: ASPEN EXTREME!

TOP GUN ON THE SKI SLOPES!

That is LITERALLY how this movie was explained in the previews. So, even though we did not get any F-14s, communists, Val Kilmer teeth chomps, or homo-erotic volleyball.. Yeah, I guess it could be Top Gun. I mean, it’s got two guys, and one of them dies. Soooooo. There ya go.

Let’s back up a bit here as we dive into “Jon Loves Bad Movies”. A feature where I recall some of my favorite movies of the 80’s and 90’s going strictly off of memory. This week is ASPEN EXTREME!

The movie starts in Detroit where our hero, T.J. Burke works in a car factory. This is what people in the 80’s did if you are to believe the movies. Every movie in the 1980’s had some dude working on an assembly line. Anywho, he’s tired of his humdrum life and wants to do SOMETHING. ANYTHING to be more Extreme. So he heads out to the local ski resport where his buddy, and this movies version of “Goose”, Dexter Rutecki works as a.. mechanic.. or something.

T.J. and Dexter load up in their creepy van and drive to Aspen Colorado! (which is actually filmed at Alta, Utah) and attempt to become rish and famous by becoming.. Ski instructers.. Because I guess that’s REALLY hard in Aspen. There are 5 positions available, but Only our hero T.J. makes the cut. He decides it’s a great idea to say “hey man, thaks for the gig, but you gotta hire my buddy too or I’m out!” which, try that in real life and see what happens.. But in Aspen that makes the grade and Dexter is in. T.J. hooks up with a slutty cougar, and gets the sexy face look from the worlds worst radio D.J. I think her name is Robin? I forget.

While climbing that corperate ladder of ski learning, and living in an abandonded train caboose, Maverick and Goo— err. T. J. and Dexter decide they’re going to win the “POWDER 8” contest. Which, I’ve been a skiier my whole life and I have no idea what the f— that is. But whatever it is, it’s important and s— in Aspen. But OH NO! Dexter get hooked on drugs and see his wee-wee! Then T.J. moves in with the cougar, and then falls in a hole or something.. While their bro-hood is in perile, their chances at winning the Powder 8 are still solid but they need practice. But then there’s an AVALANCE! NOOOOOOO!

Spoiler alert, Dexter dies and T.J. has to find the courage to sontinue. sooooo he replaces Dexter with some other dude, and wins.

THE END.

Top Gun on the slopes my ASS. But it’s a great movie! You should totally watch it!


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