Boners

Boner Fight for April 23rd, 2019

Candidate #1: IT MAKES YOUR SOUL WHITER THAN WHITE, BRIGHTER THAN BRIGHT

A group calling itself Genesis II Church of Health and Healing plans to convene at a hotel resort in Washington state on Saturday to promote a “miracle cure” that claims to cure 95% of all diseases in the world by making adults and children, including infants, drink industrial bleach. The group is inviting members of the public through Facebook to attend what they call their “effective alternative healing” at the Icicle Village Resort in Leavenworth on Saturday morning. The organizer of the event, Tom Merry, has publicized the event on his personal Facebook page by telling people that learning how to consume the bleach “could save your life, or the life of a loved one sent home to die”.

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Candidate #2: SHE NEVER EATS BREAKFAST ANYWAY.

A mother has been charged with child neglect after admitting to investigators to leaving her baby at home alone to have breakfast with a friend, WSMV reports.
According to the affidavit, officers went to a home early Sunday morning after a man called police to report that his ex-girlfriend should have been at the home watching their 11-month-old child and he couldn’t get in touch with her. When officers arrived around 4:22 a.m., they tried knocking on the door and calling her phone number but did not get an answer. The woman, later identified as 25-year-old Nieghn Carey later called her ex-boyfriend and told him that she was on her way back home. She got back to the house around 5 a.m. and told officers that she did leave the baby alone because the baby was asleep and she was going to go get breakfast with a friend. Medics arrived to check on the baby and DCS was notified. Carey was arrested on felony child neglect charges.

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  • X96 is Utah's Original Alternative. It is self-aware. It is ingrained. It plays bands like Panic! at the Disco, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Cure, and Muse. It's part of a healthy diet and it's why native Utahns are so stout and stalwart. Listen and become part of it and it will become part of you.

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