Boners

Boner Fight for August 14th, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: THIS IS THE LAST TIME WE LET UNCLE ANGUS BRING MUSIC TO THE REUNION

A technologically challenged uncle accidentally streamed Pornhub in front of his entire family while trying to play music through the TV. The red-faced relative was caught on viral Twitter video fumbling with his phone after the X-rated videos popped up on the screen — his family members screaming and giggling in the background. The screen showed a woman mid-sex act as the clumsy uncle desperately tried to close the browser. “Caught a f—ing belter! Oh my God!” the woman yells on the video, using Scottish slang for an incompetent person. The 17-second clip, originally posted in July, has received more than 6.4 million views.

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Boner Candidate #2: PEE IN A BUCKET…OKAY THEN, A BOTTLE

Yorkshire, UK – Aspiring barristers (that’s what the Brits call lawyers) have claimed they were forced to urinate in bottles and buckets in front of their laptops while taking their online bar exams remotely. The students said they were told they could fail their two-hour and 45 minute paper if they left their seats or did not maintain screen eye contact. The Bar Standards Board said it had provided “straightforward guidance”. Some students had to use the receptacles while being monitored by a remote invigilator through webcams. One student from Hull described the situation as “ridiculous”. Aspiring barrister Sophie Lamb, 28, who studies at the BPP University Law School in Leeds, said she was forced to use a bucket as a toilet while sat in front of her laptop in her kitchen during the test. Miss Lamb, who lives near Hull, East Yorkshire, said: “To be honest it was a bit ridiculous – the fact that this is an organisation that is meant to be promoting our ethical standards, but also our welfare.” She added: “I had to put the bucket under the chair and I was wearing a long dress and had to squat down, but make sure my face was still on camera.” The professional ethics exam, which was set by the Bar Standards Board (BSB), is one of three centralised tests they must sit as part of the Bar Professional Training Course. Bar student Tian Juin See said he had to urinate into a bottle while maintaining eye contact with his laptop screen so he would not be accused of cheating.

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