Boners

Boner Fight for August 3, 2020

BONER FIGHT

Boner Candidate #1: THAT IS MUCUS

A Chicago Dunkin Donuts employee was arrested and faces charges for allegedly spitting into an Illinois state trooper’s coffee. Illinois State Police said Vincent J. Sessler, 25, of Chicago, was arrested and charged Friday with disorderly conduct, reckless conduct, and battery to a peace officer following the incident which occurred the previous night. Police said that the unnamed Illinois State Trooper had gone to the Dunkin’ Donuts Thursday at about 10.20pm to buy a large cup of black coffee, according to CBS 2 Chicago. Former Dunkin’ Donuts employee Vincent J. Sessler, 25, was charged after allegedly spitting into the coffee that was served to an Illinois State Trooper on Thursday night. The trooper removed the cup’s lid in an effort to cool down the very hot coffee.  That was when he saw a ‘large, thick piece of mucus’ floating in the coffee, police said. During the investigation, the mucus was confirmed to be saliva. Sessler, an employee at the Dunkin’ Donuts, was arrested Friday at 12.49pm.

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Boner Candidate #2: AHHHH, COME ON. CAN’T WE JUST WISE UP PEOPLE?

Park rangers at Zion National Park are asking anyone with information about the people who painted sandstones in the northwest corner of the park to come forward. Officials said that a day or two before July 8 vandals painted blue squares in an area about a mile south of the Wildcat trailhead in the Kolob Terrace area. The squares measure 3 feet by 3 feet and officials think the graffiti is part of a “masonry or art project,” according to a news release.

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