Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for December 3rd, 2019

Boner Candidate #1: MY SECRET DINNER WITH TRUMP

Mark Zuckerberg is many things, but an eloquent and reasoned defender of secret meetings with the world’s most powerful is not one of them.  The most awkward man in tech for some reason recently decided to sit for an interview with CBS’s morning news co-host Gayle King to discuss, along with his wife Priscilla Chan, the duo’s Chan-Zuckerberg Initiative. Segments of the interview, more of which will be broadcast on Dec. 3, are peppered with what we have come to know as classic Zuckerberg moments. That is to say, the CEO stammered as he attempted, and failed, to convincingly defend controversial actions such as a recent hush-hush dinner with Donald Trump. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: BUTT CHUGGIN SUNLIGHT WERE YA JOSH?

Last year we thought we’d hit peak wellness guru when a proponent of the Paleo diet told hundreds of thousands of followers that staring into the Sun is one of the “best forms of free medicine” rather than something that could make you go blind, and Instagram influencers were advocating the “breatharian” diet. But we were wrong. Peak wellness culture – as a new viral Instagram post has informed us – is butt-chugging sunlight in order to gain energy. An Instagrammer who goes by the name Metaphysicalmeagan, and describes herself as an ascension wayshower, mermaid mystic, healer, teacher, and reverse aging adept caused a stir on the Internet when she uploaded a post of herself stretching naked in the sunlight in a pose reminiscent of a particularly stressful gynecological exam that took place on some sort of nature trail. Apparently she was practicing the ancient art of “perineum sunning”. Read More


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