Boners

Boner Fight for February 27th, 2019

Boner Candidate #1: WE NEED A MODEST DRESS NOW. NOT TOMORROW. NOW

Two people shopping for a dress face felony charges, including making a terroristic threat, after allegedly becoming upset when they were told they’d have to make an appointment. Ivy C. Allen Grant, 22, and Ashley Eden Ayers, 31, both of West Jordan, were charged Tuesday in 3rd District Court with aggravated burglary, a first-degree felony. Grant was also charged with making a terroristic threat, a third-degree felony. On Feb. 18, Grant and Ayers, along with their mother, went into LatterDayBride, 360 W. 300 South, to find a dress for their mother. The business specializes in modest dresses for weddings, proms, missions and everyday use. But the group was told they would not be able to buy a dress without first making an appointment, according to charging documents. The mother became upset and shoved the employee who gave them the news, the charges state.

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Boner Candidate #2: WE’RE LOOKING FOR AN 800 YEAR OLD HEAD? YOU’RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

An 800-year-old mummy, believed to be the remains of a Crusader, has been decapitated by vandals at a church in Ireland. Thieves broke into the crypt at St. Michan’s Church in Dublin and vandalized the burial site before making off with the head, the Church of Ireland said. The mummy is thought to be a soldier who fought in the Crusades, a series of eight expeditions sanctioned by the Church between the 11th and 13th centuries, which resulted in a religious war between Christians and Muslims. Intruders turned the body over while removing its head, and also desecrated the 400-year-old remains of a nun, according to the Church.

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