Boners

Boner Fight for January 20, 2021

Boner Candidate #1: AM I FREE NOW? HOW ABOUT NOW? NOW?

Joe Exotic’s legal team is so confident the “Tiger King” star will get a pardon from President Trump on Tuesday that they have a limo parked near his prison — and hair and makeup at the ready. “This time tomorrow, we’re going to be celebrating,” Eric Love, who is leading Exotic’s bid for freedom, told Metro.co.uk in an interview Monday afternoon. “We have good reason to believe it will come through,” he said of a presidential pardon for the Netflix star, who is serving 22 years for trying to hire a hitman to kill zookeeper rival Carole Baskin. “We’re confident enough we already have a limousine parked about half a mile from the prison. We are really in action mode right now,” he said of a stretch limo near the Federal Medical Center in Fort Worth in Texas.

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Boner Candidate #2: IF A HOLY MAN CAN’T KILL THE COVID, WHO CAN?

A self-styled Sri Lankan holy man’s supposed miracle potion to prevent Covid-19 turned sour Tuesday after a minister who publicly drank it was hospitalised with the virus. Thousands defied public gathering restrictions to swamp a village in central Sri Lanka last month to get the syrup made by Dhammika Bandara. Women and Child Development Minister Piyal Nishantha de Silva was among several politicians who consumed the concoction, but parliamentary officials said he had since tested positive for coronavirus and taken to a treatment centre. Family members of another politician, who hailed from Bandara’s village, had also been infected despite taking the syrup. Pro-government media gave widespread publicity to Bandara who claimed the formula was revealed to him by Kali, a Hindu goddess of death and destruction of evil. The only ingredients he acknowledged were honey and nutmeg. The government has scrambled to distance itself from Bandara, whose preparation was approved as a food supplement by the official indigenous medicine unit.

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