Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for March 29th, 2019

Boner Candidate #1: TRANS PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO CREATE A NEW SPECIES THAT IS PART MACHINE.

I had to read my own headline twice because the shit still makes no damn sense. But I guess we’ll try to make two plus two equal five together because apparently humanity is an endangered species. Dr. Paul Nathanson is a gender relations professor and the author of books such as Spreading Misandry: The Teaching of Contempt for Men in Popular Culture and Jay is About to Quote Me Saying Some Ridiculous Ass Shit in This Article. As you can accurately presume, Dr. Nathanson was a guest on an episode of The Laura Ingraham Podcast entitled “Transhumanism and the Assault on Traditional Gender and Masculinity” and proceeded to lose his fucking mind. According to Newsweek, Ingraham and Nathanson took turns dissecting what they perceive to be an “attack on masculinity”. But shit really got rich when Nathanson accused transgender people of using social engineering to create an entirely new species. “I think that the trans people have taken it one step further because by abandoning gender altogether, not simply rewriting it, they’re basically trying to use social engineering to create a new species,” Nathanson said. “Which is what, in fact, the transhumanists have been doing for the past half century. Using medical and other technologies to develop a new species.”

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Boner Candidate #2: THOSE NASTY GYRO GUYS WANT TO KILL ME.

Never get in the way of a hungry woman and her gyro — or you might have to deal with the cops. An Ohio woman deemed her dodgy gyro so criminal she wanted to get the authorities involved, audio from her unusual 911 call reveals. The woman, from Cleveland, who is not being named, called 911 on March 19 to report restaurant Gyro Guys and accuse it of intentionally serving her a “nasty” chicken gyro with raw meat. “Hi, um, can I ask you a question? Can I make a report on Gyro Guys?” she said in the 911 call. “I think it was like intentionally that they tried to, like, poison me, cause my face is red. They gave me some chicken that was like nasty and raw. They know I like everything well-done and cooked up fresh.” The dispatcher said an officer could come and talk to her but told the woman that the health department might be a better contact for her than an emergency line. The woman, however, persisted it was a police matter. “Oh, I gave that complaint already, trust me. But I’m concerned about me, cause that’s not right, what they did,” she replied.

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