Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for May 21st, 2019

Candidate #1: DADDY NEEDS A MASSAGE.

Father’s Day is just around the corner, so please enjoy this heartwarming tale of the man who allegedly stole his daughter’s Girl Scout cookie earnings so he could get an erotic massage.According to the New York Post, 40-year-old Brian Couture of Forest Grove, Oregon, called police in early March claiming his house had been broken into. When they arrived, they found the house basically destroyed, and “spotted blood strewn about the residence.” Couture explained that someone broke into his home and burglarized him, and that in addition to a damaged laptop, around $700 of his daughter’s cookie sale proceeds were missing. Unfortunately for Couture, his story fell apart pretty fast:

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Candidate #2: WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER CREPE?

Multiple middle school students are under investigation after they allegedly put bodily fluids into food served to their teachers, according to WBNS. The incident, which happened Thursday at Hyatts Middle School, could constitute felony assault, the Delaware County Sheriff’s Office said. Students allegedly put either urine or semen on crepes being served to teachers at the school. Video of the incident was shared with administrators the same day, WBNS reported. The school district released a statement saying the incident was under investigation and anybody found to have violated school policies will be “held accountable for their actions.”

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