Boners

Boner Fight for November 18, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD IS NO PLACE TO BE PERFORMING PENETRATIVE ACTS

Largo, FL — As motorists drove past them Saturday afternoon, a Florida couple engaged in a series of sex acts on the side of a road, a lewd display that landed them behind bars, police report. According to a felony criminal complaint, “many drivers” observed Amber Gormley, 39, and Shawn McClelland, 30, as they trysted adjacent to a roadway in Largo, a city in the Tampa Bay area. Gormley (seen at right) and McClelland were spotted, cops say, around 2:45 PM in an “open area location of a busy area where all drivers could see then having intercourse.” One motorist said he observed McClelland performing oral sex on Gormley, as well as certain penetrative acts.

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Boner Candidate #2: IT WAS OUR SPIRIT ANIMAL

The killing of a rare “spirit” moose in Canada has shocked residents of a northern Ontario community and prompted one First Nations man to offer a reward to anyone who can help officials apprehend the suspected poachers. Residents around the city of Timmins have long swapped stories of a ghostly white moose population occasionally spotted moving silently through forests of aspen and pine. But poachers recently killed two female moose, including one white cow. The remains, including their heads, were left discarded along a remote service road.

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