Boners

Boner Fight for November 5th, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: LAZY HUH? WE’LL SHOW YOU.

A controversial Salt Lake City school board member — who called teachers “lazy” and drew attention for attending meetings with his head tucked into in a blanket while playing solitaire on his computer — has been unseated by a newcomer focused on helping west side students succeed during the pandemic and after. With additional votes counted Wednesday, incumbent Mike Nemelka fell behind by a widening margin of nearly 32 points. His opponent, Jenny Sika, collected 66% of the vote to his 34%. When reached by The Salt Lake Tribune, Nemelka brushed off the results and said he wasn’t invested in the race, saying he didn’t campaign or put up yard signs. “If they want someone else, that’s fine,” he said. “I’m not going to worry about it.” For the past year, Nemelka, an 80-year-old retired special education teacher and former Marine, had pushed back against the growing division and animosity among the members of the Salt Lake City school board. Then he found himself at the center of it.

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Boner Candidate #2: MOVE MY SIGNS AND I’LL RUN YOU OVER

Cottonwood Heights police arrested a man Wednesday for allegedly driving his car toward a code enforcement officer because the officer moved campaign signs. The suspect was driving on Brighton Way when he saw a code enforcement officer taking down political signs on public property, according to a probable cause statement. The suspect allegedly drove another 200 feet before pulling over, turning around and driving back at a faster speed. The suspect allegedly drove toward the code enforcement officer, while honking his horn, as the officer was crossing the road. The officer jumped out of the way and the car missed him by a foot, according to the statement. Witnesses took down the license plate number of the car and the suspect confirmed he was the driver in the incident after being arrested, according to the statement. Lt. Dan Bartlett said the officer is unharmed except for getting some “bumps” diving out of the way of the car. The Salt Lake Tribune generally doesn’t identify people accused of crime who haven’t been charged.

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