Boners

Boner Fight for October 29th, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: THIS IS BOY’S FOOTBALL. YOU GOT THAT PRINCESS?

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A Utah teenager who was the only girl on her school’s football team says she was forced to change in the boys’ locker room at away games and often faced discriminatory treatment by her coach and teammates, she said in federal court Tuesday. Laura Goetz, 16, said she felt excluded and degraded during the two years she played football at West Jordan High School. She testified Tuesday as part of a lawsuit filed by viral football star Sam Gordon that aims to give girls the chance to play football on female-only high school teams. Goetz said one coach insisted on calling her “princess,” and that when she was a captain her sophomore year some of her teammates ripped up her headshot and left the pieces under the team’s display case. “They don’t like me,” Goetz said she thought at the time. “They make sure I understand that, and that I don’t belong there.” Coaches, teammates and some school administrators would often refer to the sport as “boys football,” Goetz said. She said the coaches emphasized the importance of becoming men, and the team would chant “brotherhood” during games and practices.

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Boner Candidate #2: SO YOU SHIPPED THE ONLY COPIES ACROSS THE COUNTRY? RIGHT.

Fox News host Tucker Carlson told his viewers that he had some very important papers related to his conspiracy theory surrounding Hunter Biden, son of Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden. But the papers were lost ― and so Carlson concocted yet another conspiracy theory to explain their disappearance. Carlson claimed a “source” gave the Fox News show “damning” documents about Biden on Monday. Carlson’s producer shipped the documents across the country via a “brand-name company,” but they never arrived. Instead, the shipping company said the package had been opened and the documents were missing. The shipping company launched a search and called in security to interview everyone who touched the documents, Carlson said. “They went far and beyond, but they found nothing,” he said. “Those documents had vanished.” He said the unnamed company’s executives are “baffled and deeply bothered by this, and so are we.” Carlson did not explain why they shipped the only copy of “damning” documents.

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