Boners

Boner Fight for September 5th, 2019

Boner Candidate #1: HE WAS PLAYING POSSUM

A man who police say pretended to be unconscious because he was behind on his rent found this was likely not the best plan to avoid his landlord. The owner of a Main Street apartment called police when he found his tenant, 28-year-old Ted Zarins, unresponsive in the apartment last Wednesday. The landlord called for assistance and Fort Kent police Officer Curtis Picard responded to the call along with a Maine state trooper. When police arrived, they found Zarins conscious and responsive and not in need of medical assistance, according to Fort Kent police Chief Tom Pelletier.
The officers also discovered there was an outstanding warrant for Zarins, who allegedly failed to appear in court with regard to a criminal threatening charge. Picard arrested Zarins on the warrant and officers transported Zarins to Aroostook County Jail. Zarins will appear Monday at Fort Kent District Court. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: I THINK MY WATER BOTTLE NEEDS CLEANING.

A former Tennessee State University student has pleaded guilty to contaminating her roommate’s drink with toilet water. Tierni Williams pleaded guilty to tampering with her roommate’s water on Tuesday. Back in 2017, the victim says she lost weight and her appetite and couldn’t figure out why. That’s when she claims she learned via Snapchat that her roommate, Tierni Williams, had been dumping water from the toilet into her water bottles. According to an affidavit, video shows Williams getting liquid from the toilet with a styrofoam cup, then transferring it into water bottles on her roommate’s side of the dorm. Williams reportedly narrates during the video, laughing and using expletives while stating her roommate is “gonna get sick from this” and it’s “nasty.”
Sentencing is scheduled for next month. Read More 
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