Round One
Boner Candidate #1: MY PARENTS HAVE DESTROYED MY LIFE’S WORK
A man now living in Indiana is suing his parents after he says they destroyed his valuable porn collection. FOX 17 is choosing to identify the plaintiff in this story as “Charlie,” as this is a civil case without any associated criminal charges. The case dates back to October 2016 when, according to a lawsuit filed this week, Charlie moved into his parents’ home in Grand Haven after going through a divorce from his wife. Charlie apparently stayed for 10 months in their home, doing housework in lieu of paying rent. He was asked to leave after police had to be called to the house in August of 2017 for a domestic situation. His parents allegedly traveled in November 2017 to his new place in Indiana to drop off possessions he had left at their home. Allegedly missing from the items they brought: Charlie’s massive pornography collection. Charlie says his parents told him that they destroyed the entire collection. A collection that consisted of over 12 moving boxes full of movies.
Boner Candidate #2: WE NEED TO BREAK THE STRIKE
Angered by the noise coming from a union picket line across frome their home, an Ohio couple allegedly made sugar cookies spiked with a laxative and gave the baked goods to striking school employees, police allege. According to investigators, Bo Cosens, 29, and Rachel Sharrock, 25, are both facing a felony contamination charge. Seen above, Cosens and Sharrock are each locked up in lieu of $1 million bond. The couple lives on the same street where workers have been protesting since going on strike in late-March. Picketers on the line outside the Claymont Primary School in Uhrichsville are often saluted by passing motorists with a honk of a horn. That repetitive noise, cops say, prompted Cosens and Sharrock to target the workers.
Boner Candidate #3: JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE WALMART
A Wisconsin man and his mother face multiple charges after an incident at a local Walmart that involved nudity, theft and karate, police said. Eau Claire officers responded to the big box store just before 8:30 p.m. Wednesday night after getting a call about a woman and her dog stealing items from the store. When officers arrived at the Walmart they found 46-year-old Lisa Smith screaming at the entrance and trying to catch her dog “Bo,” according to police. The woman’s son, 25-year-old Benny Vann, was also allegedly contributing to the chaos.
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Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: HE’S MY MAN AND I’M STICKING BY HIM
A Pennsylvania couple’s wedding ended in a drunken brawl after the groom hit on an underage waitress — then followed the teen into a bathroom stall and groped her, according to prosecutors. Matthew Aimers, 31, was charged Wednesday in connection to the nightmare nuptials Nov. 24 at a country club in Northampton Valley, the Philadelphia Inquirer reported. Court documents detail a wedding from hell in which the groom left in handcuffs. The newlywed now faces numerous charges, including indecent assault, imprisonment of a minor and disorderly conduct. During the reception, Aimers allegedly hit on a teen waitress and “asked her to go outside and make out,” according to an affidavit. The groom propositioned the teen by saying they could do “whatever you want,” she told police, adding that the experience had left her shaken. The waitress said she rejected him. But he later followed her into the women’s bathroom, pulling her into a stall, where he allegedly groped her and exposed himself.
Boner Candidate #2: SOMETIMES YOU NEED A GUN WHEN YOU CHANGE A BABIES DIAPER
A man with a loaded gun in a diaper bag shot himself and his daughter while changing his daughter’s diaper in a vehicle in Vestavia Hills, Alabama, police said. CNN affiliates report the incident happened Saturday afternoon, either at or near a Chuck E. Cheese’s pizza parlor in the Birmingham suburb. The father, who was not identified, was in the back seat of a vehicle changing the girl’s diaper, and the gun went off as he picked up or reached inside the bag, which was sitting on the floorboard, Vestavia Hills Police Department spokesman Capt. Johnny Evans said. After the gun went off, the bullet traveled through the adult’s leg and then the child’s leg before lodging in the man’s chest, Evans said. The child is going to be OK. Her father is in serious condition, he said.
Boner Candidate #3: I GOTTA GET TO THE WAFFLE HOUSE
A woman was arrested in Crossville, Tennessee after allegedly riding an electric shopping scooter from Walmart to Waffle House. Crossville police said 45-year-old Sally Selby was charged with theft after officers pulled her over driving in the slow lane on Main Street in the town. She allegedly said she got the cart from Walmart and was driving it to Waffle House to get a cup of coffee. Selby told police she had built the cart and someone had ripped the lights off of it. Walmart employees confirmed the cart belonged to them. Investigators said surveillance video showed her enter the store and began shopping with the scooter. She then exited and drove through the parking lot, police said. The scooter was later returned to the store.
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