ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: 1.3 BILLION DOLLARS AND SO FAR…WE GOT NOTHIN’
Roughly a year ago, the Trump administration awarded $1.3 billion in loans to a a Connecticut company for syringes essential to Covid-19 vaccines. There have been no syringes made, it’s unclear what the company is doing, if they’re doing anything at all.
Boner Candidate #2: AN UNACCEPTABLE JOKE
Shortly after the conviction of Derek Chauvin, a white elementary school teacher shared a picture of herself kneeling on a black student’s neck. The student wasn’t hurt, and said it was just a joke.
Boner Candidate #3: BONER OR HERO..? YOU DECIDE
An Italian man is facing extortion charges for not showing up to work since 2005. He has been dubbed “the King of Absentees” by Italy’s press.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: MAYBE THE JURY WAS SCARED OF WHAT THE MOB WOULD DO.
The verdict of Derek Chauvin’s trial wasn’t well received by everyone on the far right. Seemingly in denial, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis suggested that the jury was under pressure to convict Derek Chauvin out of fear from a mob.
Boner Candidate #2: THIS IS MY RIGHT. I AM A WOMAN OF GOD.
A woman forced her way into a Nordstrom Rack dressing room after being told she wouldn’t be allowed in without a face mask. After being arrested, the women repeatedly called herself a ‘woman of God.’
Boner Candidate #3: SURE IT CAUSED ALL KINDS OF CHAOS BUT IF IT WAS A PRANK, IT’S OKAY RIGHT?
A man was arrested after his friends feared for his safety and contacted police. The man in question, explained that his “I NEED HELP” message was just a prank, and he was in no danger.
