ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: THEY AIN’T GONNA GET YER GUNS IF YOU LIVE IN MONTANNA
Governor Greg Gianforte of Montana, signed a new bill on Friday that would protect firearm, and gun owners from federal gun control laws.
Boner Candidate #2: THIS INVOLVED A HIGH DEGREE OF DECEIT.
Three men were arrested after promoting a revolutionary new technology that would turn dirt into gold. Unsurprisingly, it was a complete scam.
Boner Candidate #3: YOU LOOK PRETTY HOT SO LET ME KNOW IF THERE’S A PROBLEM WITH THE RENT.
A Utah landlord attempted to exploit a renter for sexual favors when she was unable to pay rent. Luckily, the victim reached out to authorities.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: LIES UPON LIES; MCCARTHY, GET YOUR DAMNED STORY STRAIGHT.
Kevin McCarthy, Republican senator of California danced around Sunday’s questions about his phone call with Donald Trump, during the January 6th capitol riots.
Boner Candidate #2: I GOT KAVANAUGHED
Former Salt Lake County GOP chair, Scott Miller resigned after allegations of abuse from several women. He is rescinding his apologies, and claiming that he’s being ‘Kavanaughed.’
Boner Candidate #3: THIS STUFF WILL CURE COVID, CANCER AND AUTISM, GUARANTEED.
The Genesis II Church of Healing promoted a fake, and possibly harmful ‘miracle cure.’ The miracle cure in question would convert to chlorine dioxide when ingested, similar to industrial bleach solutions.
