Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for April 30th, 2020

ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1: I LIKE A GOOD PLAGUE DOCTOR COSTUME AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY, BUT…

Police are trying to find a person who dresses as a 17th-century plague doctor on their walks during the coronavirus outbreak. Residents in a Norwich suburb have spotted someone strolling around in a long black cloak, hat and pointed beak-like mask over the past few weeks. They posted on a community Facebook page claiming the outfit could scare children, according to a BBC report. Jade Gosbell, who took a photo of the person walking across a recreation ground in Hellesdon, said she saw them wearing a “full black suit” on a sunny, 20C day. She said she was worried her mother – who has a phobia of masks – would bump into them. “Kids would be frightened, my mum would be frightened”, Ms Gosbell was quoted as saying, adding that some people thought the walker is just “having a laugh” during lockdown.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: I THINK THIS MIGHT HAVE BEEN ILL-ADVISED

Seven high-risk registered sex offenders were have been released months early in the statewide effort to reduce the jail population to slow the spread of coronavirus. According to the Orange County District Attorney’s Office, each of the offenders have been charged with cutting off their monitors or tampering with their tracking devices to render them inoperable, after being released from jail for crimes ranging from indecent exposure to sexual battery to child molestation. They have also all repeatedly violated parole. “These kinds of high-risk sex offenders are the most dangerous kind of criminal and the most likely to re-offend. They are doing everything they can to avoid detection by the parole officers assigned to monitor them so they can potentially commit additional sex offenses,” OC District Attorney Todd Spitzer said in a statement. “These are not the kind of people who should be getting a break.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: SELLER AND BUYERS, BONERS BOTH

A federal judge ordered a Utah man to stop selling silver products marketed as cures for the coronavirus. U.S. District Judge David Barlow issued a temporary restraining order Wednesday against 60-year-old Gordon Pedersen and his companies, My Doctor Suggests LLC and GP Silver LLC, The Deseret News reported. U.S. Attorney for Utah John Huber filed a civil complaint against Pedersen Monday saying he fraudulently markets silver products as a cure for COVID-19. “The defendants have made a wide variety of false and misleading claims touting silver products as a preventative for COVID-19,” a statement from Huber’s office said.   Read More

ROUND TWO

BONER CANDIDATE #1: BLEACH ON THE BEACH

Authorities in a Spanish coastal resort have apologised after spraying a beach with bleach in an attempt to protect children from coronavirus. Zahara de los Atunes, near Cadiz, used tractors to spray more than 2km (1.2 miles) of beach with a bleach solution a day before Spain allowed children out of lockdown for the first time. Environmentalists say the move caused “brutal damage” to the local ecosystem. Spain has been badly affected by the coronavirus, with 23,800 deaths. It recently announced a four-phase plan to lift its stringent lockdown measures and return to a “new normality” by the end of June. María Dolores Iglesias, who heads an environmental volunteer group in the Cadiz region, said she had visited the beach at Zahara de los Atunes and seen the damage for herself. She said the bleach “killed everything on the ground, nothing is seen, not even insects”.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: PLEASE STOP MAKING DOOKIE ON OUR GARAGE

An Australian resident posted a sign warning a “mystery human poo-er” that cameras were being put up to discourage defecation on their property. The sign, which went viral after being posted to Reddit, is addressed to a “mystery human poo-er” who has allegedly been leaving their poop next to the home’s garage in Marrickville, a Sydney suburb. “We have installed this fence and a camera to hand over to the police,” the note reads. “We understand that COVID-19 is tough on everyone but please stop [expletive] on our garage.” The sign includes directions to a nearby public toilet.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: BUSTY COLLEGE GIRLS? REALLY PROFESSOR?

Turns out there are worse things than being outed with your pants off during a video call. University of Miami professor John Peng Zhang was fired this month after accidentally sharing with students his X-rated penchant for “busty college girls.” The lewd gaffe was discovered by administrators after students shared videos and images on social media of a Zoom screen-share during class with the business analytics instructor, whose browser clearly displayed a bookmark for pornographic content related to physically endowed coeds. A student called attention to the bookmark during class, according to the University of Miami Hurricane student newspaper, causing classmates to take notice. However, Zhang allegedly continued with his lesson as if it didn’t happen.   Read More


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