Round One
Boner Candidate #1: He clearly had no other choice
A Millcreek man was arrested on Friday after shooting at a 7-Eleven cashier because his card was declined. Luckily, the cashier is okay.
Boner Candidate #2: She clearly had no other choice
Shots were fired at a Tennessee Burger King because a woman was frustrated with the wait times in the drive through. The workers escaped safely thanks to a back door.
Boner Candidate #3: ‘Other than that, happy Easter!’
Twice impeached, former president Donald Trump, was once again mocked for his speeches about his claims of election fraud. This time, after his long and meaningless rant he ended with “Other than that, happy Easter!”
Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: Well I’d get caught if I do this at home
A man arrested for masturbating in his car parked outside a Publix told police that it was because: “did not wish to do it at home because he did not want to get caught.”
Boner Candidate #2: it’s ok, officer, I’m trained to do this
A man driving a motorcycle well above 100 mph on the highway was stopped by police. The man claimed his speeding was justified because it was simply how he was trained to drive.
Boner Candidate #3: always read the fine print
Donald Trump’s election campaign used some sketchy tricks with the goal of fooling supporters into donating much more then intended. The majority of charges were hidden within the fine print, or in the vague check-boxes.
