ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: HEAVY IS THE HEAD THAT WEARS THE CROWN
The authorities have arrested Mrs. World for ripping the crown off of Mrs. Sri Lanka’s head. via ET Online
Boner Candidate #2: WAS IT ALL? TIDE? GAIN? WHAT?
A woman in a Brooklyn Laundromat beat up the laundromat worker with the detergent in her hand. via New York Post
Boner Candidate #3: SO, WHAT YOU WERE SAYING IS HER WORK HUSBAND WAS HOT?
A husband kept demanding that they get a paternity test of their new born saying that the child looked more like his wife’s work husband. via Essential Baby
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: YOU DON’T DESERVE THE TITLE OF MOTHER
Angela Stanton-King goes off on a very transphobic speech about her own daughter and then posts it on Instagram. via Pink News
Boner Candidate #2: HEY THIS IS MY STOP
John Kramer was arrested in Arizona for running down the high way naked. via Arizona Family
Boner Candidate #3: TICKLE ME ELMO
Kevin Wayne VanLuven, a home inspector was arrested for being caught pleasuring himself on a families surveillance camera with an Elmo Doll. via The Smoking Gun
